Your Weekly Auburn Zen: Conspiracy Theory Edition

 

It’s that time again, where we lift the rock and expose the Auburn critters crawling underneath. This week, we’ve culled some posts from the Auburn message boards that show us that in their fevered imaginations, conspiracies are everywhere.

As always, spelling and grammar errors are in the originals.

 

Same old song with prospect from Huntsville. “One of my coaches pulled me to the side and asked me what I was doing since bama was the only school to offer me”. I’m so sick of the biased pos coaches in the state of Alabama and some outside, aka Coach Coon. It’s like dealing with the friggin mafia.

 

You said, “just went back and looked at past commitment lists and chiz and company have signed 3 or 4 per year out of florida where tubbs would sign around 10 per year there. Thought that was interesting.” … That’s because Tubs recruited regionally vs. our great coaches now recruit nationally.

 

Regardless of what is or isn’t going on, we won’t know until it’s over. If it gets investigated. bama has every state media outlet scared to report anything negative.

 

I can’t believe anyone could be that obbsessed about one paticular thing. That guy is all about bama. I mean I love AU and everything but everything in my office and my home are not decked out in AU stuff. It is really sickening how much that guy loves bama. His whole life revolves around those idiots and it reallly bothers me for some reason. I mean get a freaking life.

 

According to the date that pic was from 2 years ago. Of course whoever runs the camera has enough experience to fix that.

 

There is no reason a bammer should be an Auburn beat writer, period. He takes backhanded shots at AU every chance he gets, and thinks he is too clever/we are too dumb to pick up on his thinly veiled deceit for us. You damn sure won’t ever see an AU fan get a job as a spuat beat writer.

 

So Auburn finishes 2011 with 8 wins (just outside the top 25) while playing the toughest schedule in the country and having one of the youngest teams in the country. AU gets everyone back and has an easier schedule next year but isn’t ranked while Bama loses everyone and is #2?! Can someone explain this to me?

 

And just as a bonus, here’s one that isn’t quite clear on how many teams are in the SEC.

Rank SEC’s athletic programs: Ranking each of the three major sports and then averaging them together, where does Auburn rank?  I think AU football is 6th, basketball is 15th, baseball is 13th.

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  • Sleepwriter

    It’s hard to even comment on stupidity like this. Auburn didn’t play the toughest schedule in the country last seaso, they just made it look tough.

    • TideinOklahoma

      The barn makes a second grade spelling bee look tough.

  • Hare Bryant

    To the gentleman wondering why Auburn is not ranked despite returning many starters: Did you watch Auburn play last year? The offense was impotent and the defense was nothing short of abysmal. Why would bringing the same players from an awful team yield a different result? Stupid is as Auburn does.

  • randomgirlsname

    The first comment is so beyond confusing to me.

    • http://bamahammer.com/ TonyOrlando

      @randomgirlsname You should try plowing through all the comments we DIDN’T post, just to find a few that were semi-legible.