July 27, 2012; Cortland, NY, USA; A general view of a t-shirt referring to New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow (not pictured) on sale in preparation for the start of training camp at SUNY Cortland. Mandatory Credit: Rich Barnes-US PRESSWIRE

Sports Science: ESPN Has A Tebow Disease

ESPN is not well. They are showing symptoms of a mental breakdown that is bordering on an obsession.  The American Heritage Medical Dictionary lists an obsession as:

ob·ses·sion  n.
1. Compulsive preoccupation with an idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

I think ESPN surely falls into this category, and I’m going to prove it with SCIENCE!

I decided the best way to prove to ESPN they were sick was to get some cold hard data to show them.  I conducted the following experiment:

I will listen to ESPN radio for three hours, at three different times of the day. I will then record how many times the word “Tebow” is used. I will also record usages of the words “Football,” “Baseball,” and “ESPN.” (All times Eastern.)


7:00am – 8:00am 12:00pm – 1:00pm 4:00pm – 5:00pm
Tebow’s 13 4 8
Football’s 4 0 3
Baseball’s 2 4 3
ESPN’s 8 10 9



Results: My study incontrovertibly proves that ESPN uses the word “Tebow” like normal people use the word “the.” ESPN mentions Tebow almost as many times an hour as it does it’s own name. Meaning, ESPN is promoting Tebow only slightly less than ESPN is promoting ESPN. I think this is past an obsession and bordering on a zombie situation.

Other than the brain eating cannibalism, what other horrible things may come of this zombified Tebow ESPN?  Well for one thing, no one is enjoying this.  I may be wrong, but I was under the impression that ESPN was in the business of providing sports entertainment to their audience.

The other drawback to the 24/7 Tebow vs. Mark Sanchez circus is that the discussion leaves out a very important fact.  Only one Jets quarterback hasn’t sucked this year …


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Tags: ESPN Football

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