Oct 28, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles fan dressed for Halloween during the fourth quarter against the Atlanta Falcons at Lincoln Financial Field. The Falcons defeated the Eagles 30-17. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

BanditRef: Halloween Costume Ideas

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Want to stand out in the crowded throng of Jerry Sanduskys, Donald Trumps, and Bobby Petrinos?  I can make you the life of the party this Halloween.

Tim Brando

  • First gain like 300 pounds. If you can’t do this (because you’re a slacker) then I guess stuffing pillows under your shirt will have to do.
  • Buy a suit form the the thrift store that looks like Mens Warehouse and the 1980s had a baby together.
  • Get a jar of Vaseline. It’s not for what you’re thinking you sicko. Buy some plastic toy bugs from a dollar store and place a plastic bug in your jar of Vaseline. You now have your “fly in the ointment.”
  • Comb your hair to look like politician hair, but make it way worse.
  • At the party when anyone voices an opinion of any kind, tell them they are wrong.  If they try to question you ask them if they know how many years you have been doing this?
  • Talk about how overrated Nick Saban is, mention how Ole Miss and LSU are on the rise and will dominate the SEC in the future.  Talk about how much you love Cialis.

 

Gene Chizik

  • Get a black mouth guard to make it look like you have no teeth.
  • Carry a bible with the words “Auburn Playbook” on the cover.
  • Wear an Auburn windbreaker.
  • Hand out resumes to everyone at the party.

 

Paul Finebaum

  • Get a bald cap and some John Lennon glasses.
  • Get some scrap paper and a Magic Marker and create a University of Tennessee diploma. Throw this in your trunk and never bring it out.
  • Wear all Alabama gear but continually remind everyone how neutral you are.
  • Have friends run up and yell incoherently about their favorite sports team, say “Great call.” As soon as your friend is gone, mock them.

 

LSU player

  • Find one of those Bob Marley hats with the dreads.
  • Get an LSU jersey or T-shirt and tie dye it.
  • Have a “joint” behind your ear.
  • Talk about how much Les Miles and Jah have changed your life.
  • Ask party goers to go with you on a Taco Bell run.

 

Auburn Fan

  • Arrive at party in overalls and an Auburn shirt.
  • Talk about family and god a lot.
  • Mention that you have always been a basketball fan first.
  • Leave the party half way through.

 

Bandit Ref

  • Get a hockey mask and a refs shirt.
  • Be hilarious.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tags: Alabama Crimson Tide Football

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