Auburn Football: Your Weekly Auburn Zen

It’s that time again, where we turn our attention to the agony going on down on the farm, by taking a look at what they’re saying on the Auburn message boards. The Gene Chizik Firing Watch continues to be a soap opera, and debate turns on which A-list coach is just dying to head to southern Alabama to coach. As always, spelling and grammar errors are in the originals.

"We skull drug New Mexcio St up and down JHS. We stepped up. Did what we had to do. Big win! WDE!"

"It’s simple. Send a clear message. DON’T go to the uga game this weekend. Let the dip$shits in charge know that unless their is a complete housecleaning, they can expect no support."

"If Jacobs stays I will punch a kitten. But if Jacobs stays and we fire Chiz, we will hire Chiz 2.0"

"I was always one to defend Chizik about only winning the title due to Cam.After this season I have realized that yes Cam had a lot to do with it but Tubb’s senior class was the real factor and Chizik is really no better than his 5-19 record if that makes any sense."

"By the time we fire Chizik, Petrino will be off to Cal, Kansas, or Maryland. Malzahn will be somewhere weird like USF or Southern Miss. Arkansas will hire Charlie Strong, UT will get the “home run” hire, and we’ll get someone like the guy from La Tech or ULL."

"Well since we’re dreaming, It has to be BMFP or Bill Belichick. Jim Harbaugh is our back-up plan."

"it is all a diversion. Put all the attention on Stoops while we get Mack Brown in thru the back door."

"there is a lot of excitement about our hire. Be prepared to be let down."

"Lets say Auburn upsets Bama. I know Chiz would probably stay. Would it feel better than winning a NC at this point? As down as we have been this year you have to admit it would have to be a miracle type game. There is a small chance we could upset the Gumps. Would we build a statue of Chizik?"

"I used to think that as long as we beat Bama I’d be OK. This season has proven me wrong on that…… Auburn football is more than Alabama."

"I have no hope of us hiring a good coach. I have no hope of us getting rid of Jay Jacobs. I have no hope of our recruits staying committed. I have no hope of us competing in the SEC for a long time. And if Chizik doesn’t get the boot, I will supply the bleach."

"I was at the A&M game. I was in the game as soon as the gates opened and front row behind the T in the student section. The fans were rocking and the atmosphere was great! The house was completely filled besides the very tip of the upper deck corners…  THEN THEY SCORED ON EVERY DRIVE!"

"Trovon Reed quote: “I looked up at the screen and I saw a black guy walking in No. 37. I was like: Who is that? Then I remember that I had the number. Then I started waving to myself.”"

"Our talent is not what we thought. There are many coaching issues but good football players are not taught everything. Something are just natural. Do you think anyone taught Cam Newton to do what he did? No. Guys taking bad angles, diving at peoples feet to tackle, No instinct to “see ball, get ball”."

"We scored 42 points!!! Surely this means the offense is back on track, now….the defense only allowed 7 points, also….that sounds like domination!! Beware SEC!!"

"Let’s talk about BP, Jimbo, and firings that won’t happen till the end of the year… Let’s rehash the same ol $h!t that has been discussed every day for the last 2 months. But DO NOT discuss the presidential election that takes place once every 4 years. As a matter of fact, we should talk about BBQ all day on the bunker because that is all about auburn sports and it does not upset the fuhrer. Nein! Nein! Nein! You will only talk politics in the designated areas!!!"

"I ain’t saying gene needs to go or stay..but I do know if he gets fired you gonna lose all your top players coming cause they wanna play for this coaching staff…unless you can get a big name from the nfl or so…"

"We will get destroyed against uga and the turds, thank you jay Jacobs and coach chizik. You are a shining example to all of us, thanks for showing us your vision of what you wanted for Auburn, you are both magnificent and the New Mexico game totally took my breath away. Again , thanks SO much."

"“Keep chopping wood” is the motto Jack Del Rio used in Jacksonville. That’s why a player almost cut his foot off because Del Rio left a tree stump and an axe in the locker room. Great idea, Gene, maybe you can try it when you are coaching at South Florida."

"I feel like AU is going to step up and show us a little grit against GA. I just do."

"they are probably gone but its not an officially done deal. what happens if we win out? i know incredibly unlikely but if it happened then what?"

"The bammer game will solidify the possibility of no return for Gene Chizik, if he is still coaching. I don’t care if Auburn beats Georgia and Alabama A&M, that game is going to be a horrible, horrible day for this team and the program in general. Saban could hang 70 on Auburn without a doubt if he wants to, it just depends on what kind of mood he is in that day. No way Auburn can come up with an excuse for keeping Chizik after that game."

"Is it conceivable JACOBS is about to pull a MAL MOORE And make a Saban like hire here and that’s why he stands a chance of being retained? Reading tea leaves, it sounds like JAY is on the verge of landing JIMBO. Talk about redemption for our AD who has been left for dead. Let’s do this!"

"Please tell me Houston Nutt is not a religious guy….."