BanditRef: RIP Derek Dooley

Reports from indicate that Derek Dooley was fired from the University of Tennessee today in his sleep.

Dooley was head coach of the Volunteers for two seasons, and one train wreck. He was the son of famed University of Georgia coach Vince Dooley and southern icon Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Dooley’s desire to be a Tennessee football coach was evident from a very young age, due to his constant interest in convicts and jail sentencing guidelines. Dooley was beloved by many in his local community. When asked to comment, local Knoxville resident James Lee James Jr. said, “I do be likin dem orange pants kause they be good for huntin’ and for scaring away hill cats when they try to carry off de chirens.”

Dooley had a very unimpressive (even by the standards set by the department of education and bible learning of Tennessee) 15-20 record. His 4-18 SEC record would be considered very impressive, had Tennessee taken the Sun Belt up on that membership offer.

We reached out to Dooley’s mentor and former boss Nick Saban, but he seemed to be in a less-than-agreeable mood today, and force-choked our reporter through the phone. We also tried to reach out to former UT coach Phillip Fulmer, but he has gotten his hand stuck in a jar of marshmallow fluff and is indisposed for the foreseeable future.

Dooley is survived by his wife Allison, three children, and an desperately disappointed and deeply depressed Vol nation. Derek Dooley is surely on to a better place … a position as a New York Jets special teams coach.

Dick's Sporting Goods presents "Hell Week":

Tags: Football

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  • UT4ever

    Classless Drivel. Clay Travis is that you?

    • Bandit Ref

      Yep, and I’m gay.

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  • wonders4

    That’s what we get for taking one of Saban’s castoffs.

    • Guest

      Oh come on, you guys love Saban’s sloppy seconds.

  • keithvol1971

    Wouldn’t expect anything different from a low class Bama fan.

    • Bandit Ref

      It would have to be a Bama fan, wit is not something that is going to spring forth from a Vol.

  • tysonbrown

    It never surprises me to see how blantly racist Alabama fans are. Why would any young black athletes want to go play for a fan base that is ok with you as long as you play football.

    • Bandit Ref

      I am very curious how it’s racist. Please oh wise hill people, lend me your wisdom.

  • Daryl Fagan

    another classy bama fan shows his true colors. I hope you all win a lot of football games because you do not appear to have anything else to fall back on.

    • Bandit Ref

      Yep I showed my true colors by being able to laugh at football. Getting all kinds of angry over a joke is also showing true colors. Why so serious?