November 24, 2012; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide fans celebrate after defeating the Auburn Tigers 49-0 at Bryant Denny Stadium. John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

10 Reasons Alabama will crush Auburn in the Iron Bowl

1. Landon Collins – Did you notice how he was at the end of most every single tackle in the Chattanooga game? He’s becoming a ball hawk, and with his view from the safety position, he’s got the perfect spot to follow Gus Malzahn’s zig-zag offense.

2. AJ McCarron – While Johnny Manziel looks to get back in the Heisman race by juggling, riding a unicycle, etc. against Mizzou, AJ is going to put up respectable, workman-like numbers. Call it 16-21, 220 yards, a couple of TDs, some well timed scrambles followed by a wise throw-away, and then a wink and a nod at some of the Crimson Tide cheerleaders, just to let them know how much he appreciates their hard work. In short, while Manziel does his rather impressive tricks, Heisman voters’ McCarron crush will continue to grow. They just can’t take their eyes off of him. Or the Tallahassee police reports.

 3. Discipline – Here’s a fun game – watch Auburn’s offense on fast-forward, with the Benny Hill theme playing. That’s kinda what it looks like. It’s gimmicky, controlled chaos, and all the yackety-yacking in the backfield will do nothing for 11 Crimson fellas staying in their lanes.

 4. Gus Malzahn – He won the Jared from Subway Doppelganger contest. What more could a man need?

 5. Toomer’s Corner – We accept the fact that someone who claimed to be part of Bama Nation was responsible for poisoning the trees. It was wrong. To that end, we cannot allow further damage to occur to nature’s beauty. Thus, denying Auburn a win on Saturday will save the remaining trees from being vandalized by their home base.

 6. Ohio State – An Auburn win would most likely vault them ahead of the Buckeyes in the BCS. Team Meyer is whiny enough when they’re behind FSU and Bama. The Football Gods won’t give them another thing to yammer about.

 7. Fumbles – Namely, there will not be any from Yeldon or Drake. And why not? Because it is my strong suspicion that Nick Saban has informed both of them that, should they choose to put the ball on the turf, he will calmly walk on the field and behead them with a katana.

8. CJ Mosley – This will finally be his game for that elusive interception, after being hit this year by passes in the hands, face, chest, shoulder and thighs. Simple odds tell you that one eventually gets picked off.

 9. Palmetto Pride – A&M will knock off Mizzou, as the Football Gods would love nothing more than a Bama-USC matchup, so that I can endure a solid week of Gamecocks boasting about their tradition of several 10 win seasons.

10. Logic.  Bama is better than Auburn. That’s not homer talk. This is one of the most solid, well-rounded college football teams you will see, with some of the best coaching the game has known. The wiseguys call it a 10.5 spread. Give the points. Alabama 31, Auburn 14.

 

Tags: AJ McCarron Alabama Crimson Tide Iron Bowl

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