14 Till 14: 2 Ways to Have Your Own Alabama Game Day Experience

Can’t make it to Atlanta? Hey neither can I! Now I’m sure we’re all Alabama football watching vets here, but it’s been an awfully long time since our last game. So let’s just have a quick refresher course on how to make the most out of your game day experience.

It’s not a home game this week, which means probably no tailgating. Unless you tailgate no matter what, and that means I would love to be friends with you. For the rest, this means either hosting a viewing party or just hitting up a bar. Today I’m going to break down both of these options to give you the optimal experience.

Viewing Party

This is what I’ll be doing at my place on Saturday. Let’s just break down some scenarios and I’ll let you know what to do.

No one brings food.

That’s cool. They expect you to be the ultimate host? Ha! You’re lucky to get out of bed in time for the 11 am kick off. Forget about Lee Corso’s head gear, you’re going through a minor crisis forgetting you’re out of Eggo waffles. Let them dive through your fridge and cabinets, all you have is cheap beer and some deli ham that’s probably not safe to eat. Keep munching on your fresh bag of chips and your jar of salsa. Hey, keep the bathrobe on for extra style points.

Someone has an anger problem.

Okay, so maybe we’re all a little guilty of this too. “THROW IT TO O.J. HOWARD!” will be shouted a few times probably. Look, it’s okay. Just put away the lamps, make sure any gaming controllers are out of the way, have an extra roll of paper towels ready, and make sure no one is using actual glassware. And if something does break? You go Nick Saban mode. He sometimes gets a tad emotional on the sidelines.

Can I use your bathroom? I shouldn’t have had that breakfast burrito.

It’s outside.

Wannabe coach in the room.

Look, I’m glad you were an assistant team manager on your high school’s team, but no one at the party is going to care about the mumbo jumbo that you’re spewing. Stop trying to impress the lady that is currently spilling nacho cheese all over herself because she thought we missed an extra point. Go back to online dating and leave the x’s and the o’s to the actual coaches.

On second thought, watching the game alone (who really is alone with all the extra food and drinks?) doesn’t sound so bad.

Da Bars

Alright, you decided to go to the bars to watch Alabama football. As a student, that’s not too bad. You’re surrounded by your own.

If you’re outside the Tuscaloosa region, godspeed. There is a bad rep around Alabama fans lately. Whether it’s the Updykes or the teabaggers or the guys who put flags on other stadiums and threaten they didn’t construct the area properly. Hey, that’s not us! But not everyone knows that.

If an Auburn fan approaches you about last season and the hurry-up no-huddle offense, that’s cool. Just remind them that some people still believe Auburn is in Georgia and they blew the SEC streak. LSU fans? Pat them on the back. We’ve handed them a few rough years lately. Tennessee fans talking about Butch Jones and upsetting Kiffin this year? Remind them the last time the Volunteers beat Alabama, the iPhone wasn’t out yet. Got the trash talking strategy out of the way? Good.

In case you’re up North or out West, it doesn’t really matter. Just ramble about the SEC for a few minutes and they’ll go back to talking about whatever they actually talk about that’s not football.

As a vet of bar viewings, I will say, it’s better to stay home, both for your wallet and mentally. Some strange folks come out of the woodwork to pay five bucks for a Bud Light, and there will always be that guy who doesn’t completely understand football but is two apple ales in and wants to fit in.

When the game is about to wrap up, head on out of there. Chances are there will be a bitter fan or two lurking around. They always want to talk about the game for some reason. You lost, go home and cry in the shower and eat tubs of ice cream like everyone else. If Alabama is about to win, still get out. Alabama celebrations after a big win can be dangerous. I’m sure there will be a Discovery Channel documentary on this subject soon.

Also, eat light. I’m not sure about you guys, but when the game is on, I’m dialed in. I become the slowest eater, only taking bites on commercial breaks. So either eat before and find a bar with the best specials, or get there early.

Sometimes I play a little drinking game with myself every time Verne Lundquist mispronounces a player’s name. Only play it for a half or it becomes detrimental to your body.

Got everything out of the way? Great. With any of your own tips or questions feel free to hit the comment section or find me in the forums.