The Auburn Family Creepily Tweets At Recruits To Join Their Cult
Here are the best and funniest creepy tweets from Auburn fans to recruits begging them to join their cult.
ICYMI: The best Saban rants of 2015.
Let’s get two things out of the way:
- All fanbases have creepy adults who tweet at teenagers begging them to come to their school.
- No adult should be tweeting at recruits, it’s weird.
That being said, there’s something extra creepy and insidious about the tweets from Auburn fans. It’s not that they say anything wrong… it’s just that all the family, love, and Jesus talk starts to feel like the next step is going to be to shave your head, wear magic pajamas, and drink some “special” Kool-Aid.
The Auburn “family” is a strange group and they are proving it with these hilariously creepy tweets.
Why is “family” in quotes here? Are you using family as a code word of some kind?
@RashanGary33 @bendavis_1 @DerrickBrown90 Come join Auburn and be part of a family and not just a piece in a system! #WDE be great wherever
— Esco (@reeves_kenneth) January 29, 2016
YES, FORGET ABOUT FOOTBALL SYSTEMS AND CONCENTRATE ON THE SYSTEM THAT LEADS YOU TO BE A LEVEL 6 AUDITOR!
@bendavis_1 Glad you enjoyed yourself on the Plains this weekend hopefully you can join the Fam Big Things are about to happen up there.
— Mr.Threat (@Tavoe34) February 1, 2016
Big things? At Auburn? Come on now.
This is another recruit’s dad, he’s apparently already gone through the conversion process.
@GRANCERRAY @DerrickBrown90 good words Coach Rice. He needs to feel that Auburn Family love. There is nothing that compares
— Shane Ward (@big_candy99) November 11, 2015
And this is another cult member congratulating the father of that recruit on doing the bidding of the Lord Xenu.
A cult member goes after the hill people for corrupting a recruits head…
They always start out saying they want to be your friend.
Now they want to be clear that they have the best cult in the nation… SCREW YOU CUTCO KNIVES!
Cults love to call things “special”. They have special underwear, and special books, and special alone time in the cabin with Elder Jebediah…
@jayvaughn_myers congrats on naming your final 2 schools I hope you and @NateCraig2016 will join the auburn family #WDE
— Josh Quattlebaum (@QuattlebaumJosh) January 31, 2016
Congratulations on making it this far… your journey to the dark side is now almost complete.
@natecraig2016 Join the Auburn Family! You'll never regret it. Best wishes as you contemplate your future!
— David Dollar (@davidldollar) January 27, 2016
Best wishes… JOIN US OR REGRET YOUR CHOICE AS YOUR SOUL BURNS IN THE FIRES OF ALABAMA!
The cute emoji tigers take the edge off the creepy right?
Jesus take the wheel.
We all need to stop tweeting recruits because it’s weird for adult men to be sending tons of unsolicited messages to teenage boys, but Auburn needs to stop most of all… like “immediadiayely.”
@bendavis_1 @marlondavidson7 @T_WILL4REAL war eagle!!! Come play immediayely
— Jeff Anderson (@JDAWarEagle) February 1, 2016
PRAISE XENU, LORD OF THE AUBURN FAMILY!