It’s hard to get out of fall weddings tactfully, so we created this eloquent regrets card to make it easy for you to spend Saturdays in the fall with your one true love, college football.
Once again we’ve reached the time of year when save the date cards start appearing in our mailbox for fall weddings. Fall weddings are a plague on our nation and need to be stopped at all costs, but convincing overexcited brides-to-be of that has always been difficult. That’s of course why we created this elegant, yet straight to the point, college football fall wedding regrets card.
Using our college football fall weddings regrets card couldn’t be simpler. Just print out the letter, check the box that applies, sign your name, and mail this missive off to the selfish bride who tried to force you to spend a glorious fall Saturday in church listening to her aunt sing a terrible rendition of “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic, instead of on your couch enjoy the glories of college football as Jesus intended.
Here’s your passport to freedom my friends, you’re welcome.
Finally we have an appropriate and classy way to explain to our loved ones that we love college football more than we love them.
Be sure to mail this regrets card off as soon as you get a save the date though, it would be wholly inconsiderate to wait and warn them only months before the wedding when they send you an official invitation to their poorly timed nuptials. If you don’t get a save the date card then screw those folks they were inconsiderate troglodytes anyway… or someone got knocked up.
Enjoy your freedom from tyranny college football loving citizens of America, it is your birth right!