Your Weekly Auburn Zen: We’re Close Edition

It’s that time again, where we dig through the Auburn message boards like an archaeologist digging around in the ruins of a lost Stone Age encampment, to bring you this week’s unintentional comedy bonanza. As always, spelling and grammar errors are left in.

"Regardless of how the Calloway and Cyrus K situations ended up, those guys were supposed to be Bama locks. The fact that we were that close proves we can go head to head with them."

"And my observation is this, the turds could not have pulled Calloway, Cyrus K, or Yeldon w/o some funny business. We have to get real here…everyone knows how they operate."

"Cam Newton and winning the NC really seems to have taken the message national that Auburn is special place. Really impressed!"

"if Chiz and Co. Don’t diversify their vocabulary asap we’ll be losing a lot more kids to Vandy…"

"from the ’10 season with one small difference. In ’10 I truly believed at the start of spring camp we could run the table. I get that same feeling except I think we will drop one or two because of our OL experience. That might just be good enough though."

"I’m really trying to not get too excited just yet. I hate to get too hyped up over him until we know he is cleared to play. Yes, we feel good about it, but you never know with the NCAA."

"Keeping it real, anyone that thought Liner was a done deal isn’t/hasn’t been paying attention. I do not know exactly what it is (money?) but if bama wants someone from the state of Alabama they have made it very hard on us lately. I am not saying “give up” on Liner but I would make sure I had other players at that position lined up asap. Auburn is a great school with a great football tradition but something has happened lately that bama seems to have the edge on us with in-state players $$$$$. I sure would feel better with a couple of others at that position from NC or Tenn."

"We still have an issue at Auburn with many season ticket buyers/holders not attending games…so, the season ticket buyers/holders need to pick up their game as well…"

"More who think we’re morons should read this and understand the mentality of Auburn. I bet bammer wouldn’t have done that."

"I have mixed feelings about the actions that a recruiter should take when faced with a top commit making statements like “they are making it very hard on me right now” and “i am going to do my best to get down there this weekend”…I realize that these are kids and that they want to enjoy the recruiting process. However, based on recent recruiting mishaps, what actions should Chiz and Pelt take? Hey Dee, enjoy your recruitment process, we’ll see you in Auburn next year? Hey Dee, are you All In or not, we need to know now? Hey Dee, if you are All In then there should be no talk between you and the turds, put an end to it or find another school?…I realize that we cannot put a leash on these young men but damn, All In means All In. This is the state we live in, I realize that. There isnt much we can do. Dee Liner is a FAR more important recruit than yeldon. How would you handle this if you were Chiz or Pelt?"

"I understand the frustration and paranoia because of TY, but each kid is in a different situation and you can’t apply blanket logic. Discourage, yes, but you can’t put ultimatums on kids like that. For one, it comes off as very insecure, the recruit could just say, “why would you be concerned if you think your school is better for me?” Think of how easy it would be for Saban to recruit against that. Imagine if he all he had to do was get a kid on campus and then Auburn would shoot themselves in foot by playing hardball."

"I’m telling you, 9-11 wins is not out of the question at all. The other West teams have all taken much bigger hits than people realize. Arky is NOT a 10 win team this season. LSU early is very possible, especially if we get up quickly on them since they have no passing game whatsoever every year. We are going to beat Clemson by double digits."

"Not saying we’ll go undefeated…but we have as much talent and as many weapons as anyone else in the SEC going into 2012….and the last 6 years that’s seemed to be enough to win a MNC."

And finally, in the damning with faint praise department…

"We’re scary close."