Your Weekly Auburn Zen: Junk Food Edition
By Tony Breland
It’s that time again, where we head south until we smell it, then east until we step in it, by perusing the Auburn message boards. As always, spelling and grammar errors are in the originals.
"Anyone have any recs for Waffle Houses in Georgia? I am talking 6-Sigma Waffle House"
"Anyone else annoyed by the term “AUsome?” Really irritates me for some reason. I love AU but damn that’s a weak attempt to be clever. Just on my mind with the whole “things I hate” theme of the day with Penn State."
"Imagine if a scandal of the caliber of Penn State’s happened at our school or the turds. I’m sure many of those delirious horse humpers put Camgate in that boat regardless of how illogical it is. Anyway.. I can’t comprehend how it would be. It would literally turn our culture upside down. I don’t know what I would do without Auburn football. And hell, I hate bammers, but I love the rivalry because it is the best in sports. I would be devastated if that rivalry ended. I know some of you chickens wish the turds would vanish, especially after what happens with Toomers. But the feeling of taking them down, especially when they have a solid team & coach, is hard to beat."
"Man, if that type of scandal hit turd town and they got hit with those sanctions, shit would definitely hit the fan on many many levels. Especially the “sidewalks” because as we all know, their lives revolve around that football team. Not the university as a whole, but the football team. I honest to goodness think some of them could not take it. We have seen them poison our trees after losing and even teabag an LSU fan after they freaking won. Those type of sanctions would send a bunch of them around the bend. There is no telling what might happen. Riots, suicide, folks just snapping and going on rampages, heck I have no clue what those crazy folks would do."
"I’m looking for the best Shoneys in Alabama. TIA."
"There are important people at Auburn who believe Saban to Tejas is possible and they are doing their best to make that happen."
"Is it ghey to name my son pAUl?"
"Just realized that the movie on TV is a remake of “Ice Castles.” Am I the only person who didn’t know they remade “Ice Castles?”"
"Anybody know which Red Lobster is the best in Alabama? I heard the best one is in Mobile."
"RE: Ted Roof. The only difference from an on the field standpoint with Roof between AU and PSU is that he will underachieve with less talent up there rather than underachieving with top level talent like he did here."
"SEC “too big to fail” football schools. Thought about this statement today and ran through the SEC football programs. I think spuat is only school that may fall into this category. They idolize saban and have no criticism, mild or otherwise, as you find at other schools. Saban was asked about this last week at SEC media days and he responded that he “respected” AD and chancellor, but did not acknowledge new president."
"I remember a lot of bammers the last couple of years saying how much they liked having the home and home with PSU. How the fans were so great and everything. Like they had found kindred spirits in the PSU fanbase. I kept hearing how they were so similar with their “tradition” and drawing the comparisons between joepa and bahr and the way the fanbases respected them and so forth. Funny how quick they tend to forget about that."
"Even if it isnt true [about Saban leaving] we should spread this rumor as fact"
"We have… For the past three years. It should prob stop. He’ll be at bama for a while. We should all get used to it."
And finally, one Auburn fan gets to the bottom of the biggest issue facing college football:
"Better seafood…Red Lobster or Shoney’s??? Captain D’s – contest over."