LSU is in a lot of trouble, so I just wanted to reach out to Leonard Fournette and let him know that Alabama is here for him.
Related: The Louisiana Governor says LSU may close due to the budget crisis.
Dear Leonard,
How are you? I am sorry to hear that your beloved LSU is in quite the pickle. Governor John Bel Edwards of your great Louisiana says that LSU may have to close due to the current budget crisis. (I think he also said something about some hosptials and basic services closing… but LOL who cares about that junk right?) The issue is that without LSU holding classes you won’t be eligible to play football, this is a true tragedy. (Unlike all those folks how need a hospital! LOL!)
I know that the LSU family is bravely rallying to try to make sure the Tigers take the field… I’m just not sure that this is a problem that spelling everything with an “x” can solve. Your situation at the Louisiana State University has become precarious at best; it’s time to act.
You are a special talent who has been able to run on every team you’ve faced besides Alabama. You are a very impressive running back and have a bright future in the NFL… as long as you get to play football in college. This is why I want you to know that Alabama is here for you.
You’re not going to win a Heisman sitting at home watching the alligators mate on the bayou while the legislature argues about taxes. At Alabama however you might actually get to achieve the dream that Les Miles and LSU have so far been unable to help you reach.
Alabama has a history of helping refugees from the bug and bourbon soaked swamps of LSU. Nick Saban was great at LSU, but he became a legend at Alabama. Do you want the name Leonard Fournette to be remember as a good running back who played for LSU, or as a Heisman winning champion who was part of the greatest football dynasty of all time? Wouldn’t it be nice to actually get to go to the Heisman Trophy Presentation?
If you transfer to Alabama you will have to sit out a year… but would you rather sit out a year preparing to join the juggernaut of football that is the Alabama Crimson Tide, led by the greatest coach of all time Nick Saban, or do you want pin your hopes on Louisiana politicians not being crazy and incapable? The history of Alabama Football proves that we will be great, the history of Louisiana politics proves that you might be screwed.
So get that transfer started now so you can finally win the Heisman and get the success and glory you deserve in a healthier and less malaria ridden environment. I’m sure the kind and generous Nick Saban will also welcome any other LSU refugees you’d like to bring along.
All the best to you, your family, and all the corndogs affected by this tragedy. I am praying for your broke, God forsaken, methane and vomit smelling, swamp state.
Bandit
Next: Louisiana Governor Threatens To Close LSU
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