Top Ten Most Hilarious Les Miles Quotes, Ever

We’ll miss a lot of things about Les Miles now that he is no longer the head coach at LSU. One thing we’ll miss the most is his zany comments.

ICYMI: Official Statement: Les Miles Fired From LSU

Well, it’s official guys. Les Miles really is no longer the head football coach at LSU. This is a sad day for everyone in the world of sports, because Miles provided us with some of the best sound bytes in the history of the world.

A while back, a commercial surfaced joking about needing a “Charles Barkley Translator App”, because Sir Charles is known for his off the wall remarks. College sports fans everywhere would have benefited from a similar app for Les Miles, often dubbed “The Mad Hatter”.

Only a crazy person sends recruiting letters containing metaphors of lions and gazelles. Only Les Miles can make a member of the media turn to another reporter and ask, “What the hell did he just say?”

In remembrance of Les Miles and his coaching days at LSU, we give you the definitive list of the best things Les Miles ever said. No real context is provided, because it’s that much more hilarious without it.

Top Ten Craziest Things Les Miles Has Ever Said

10. In Regards To Punters

“If the guy can’t speak Australian, I’m not interested.”

9. Mulling Around

A reporter asked a stupid question. So Les Miles responded with an equally stupid answer.

“Here’s what I don’t enjoy. I don’t know where my room is half the time. I don’t know where my shoes are the other half. I don’t know where’s my pens.”

He can’t find his what?

8. Literacy
“When I wake up in the morning and I turn film on, it’s like reading a book and it’s exciting.

I don’t read books, but if I read books, it would be like reading a book.”

7. Thank You, Come Again

“I’m the head coach at LSU. I will be the head coach at LSU. I have no interest in talking to anybody else. I got a championship game to play, and I’m excited for the opportunity of my damn strong football team to play in it.

Please ask me after. I’m busy.

Thank you very much. Have a great day!”

6. Geography

“Louisiana has a heritage of great players that play their high school career within the boundaries of Louisiana.”

Apparently there are football players in Louisiana. Who knew?

5. Gunner Kiel and … boobs?

“There was a gentleman from Indiana that thought about coming to the Bayou state. He did not necessarily have the chest and the ability to lead a program, so you know.”

Mmmmmmkay. Sure.

4. Diet

“I’ll tell you one thing. The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best.”

Probably a little bitter right now, but okay.

3. The Les Miles School For Kids That Can’t Call Timeout Good

“I’d be the first one to tell you that I would like to think that I had called timeout before that. I can’t imagine that I did not. I can’t tell you that I did, and that’s my issue.”

So….he may have called timeout.

Possibly.

2. Random Words Strung Together To Make Sentences

“The Will Ferrell movie, the NASCAR guy, right, you know?

Shake and bake, right, magic man, right, thunder and lightning.

Thunder!! And… lightning.”

1. Holidays

“Good afternoon. I just wanted to remind everybody that it’s Columbus Day.

All those of you that know Italians, like Italians, or the people that might venture onto a ship and travel to explore and find new lands, this is your day.

It’s not St. Patty’s Day; that’s a different day entirely.”

Thanks for clearing that up.

Next: An LS-Eulogy For The Les Miles Era At LSU

Maybe it’s crazy, but we’re gonna miss that grass-chewing Mad Hatter. No doubt Les Miles will land on his feet and coach again, unless of course he decides to retire. If that’s the case, he can put his feet up and finally have time to read a book or two.

Best of luck to you, Les. It’s been a wild ride.