Like Coach Saban said, it’s time to forget the LSU game and focus on this weekend’s opponents, the Mississippi State Bulldogs. And like all the other SEC schools, there’s plenty to hate about them.
Being a school from Alabama’s malformed twin, Mississippi State has had to do some ballsy things to try and keep up with the Tide, and we thought it would be a good idea to go over some of their most testicular efforts.
Mascots. In a league filled with me-too mascots (we’re looking at you, Tigers/Wildcats), it takes balls to pick a mascot identical to another school in the conference. And yet, Mississippi State looked no farther than Georgia for inspiration. C’mon, go with Catfish, or Bad Roads, or Illiterates or something else Mississippi is known for.
We’re not sure about the origins of this mascot, because frankly, we didn’t want to visit Wikipedia and we’re pretty sure they don’t have Interwebs yet in Starkville. So we’ll just assume a few guys in a horse pen tried to think of the most exotic animal they could, and it came down to this or a horse with handlebars. Way to go, Bulldogs. You missed a golden opportunity to be the Mississippi State HorseBikes.
More cowbell. It’s supposed to be distracting, or motivating or something. Surely enterprising school bookstores have tried in vain to make a killing painting up maroon cowbells and selling them to the student body to take to the game. Just as surely, those entrepreneurs have gone bust, because bringing a cowbell to an MSU game is just a matter of walking to the back forty and yanking one off of their best girl’s neck.
Motivation. Speaking of balls, Mississippi State has for decades been where Coach Bryant disciples go to pasture. In the case of Jackie Sherrill, he brought the pasture with him. In 1992, Sherrill hit upon a brilliant motivational tactic: he brought a bull onto the practice field and had it castrated in front of the team. State fans will argue the tactic worked; MSU beat Texas A&M 28-10. But more than the victory, it gave the players a head start on their exciting careers in animal husbandry.
Mirrors. We have nothing but respect for Sylvester Croom the man. He was a favorite of Coach Bryant, who saw him as a protegé. Croom made a solid career for himself in professional football, and while things didn’t work out at Mississippi State, he did turn the program in a more positive direction.
Croom was also a symbol of accomplishment, being the first black head coach in the SEC; again, a reason to celebrate. But as with most race-related issues in football, this was used as a club to bludgeon Alabama. Once again, the University was portrayed as keeping the black man down by other SEC schools, even as their own students were holding faux Klan rallies and the like.
Passing on Sly Croom turned out to be a smart move by Alabama, though rival schools questioned the motivation. As usual, that was easier than looking in the mirror.