We are still more than a week away from the BCS National Championship Game and so far the bowl season has provided little remedy for our withdrawal from our drug of choice, Crimson Tide football. What makes it worse is months long off-season hurtling at us faster than a Clay Travis story gets debunked. Last week I covered how to get through January through March so this week I pick up with some tips on getting through April, May, and June as unscathed as possible and without having to watch baseball.
April
A-Day. It’s kinda, sorta Alabama football. While not an actual game, Alabama practices football better than most teams play it so we need to grab onto this chunk of quasi-football like a lion grabbing onto a gazelle. A-Day has the unique ability to make us both happy and sad simultaneously. We haven’t had Tide football in our lives for months so on one hand it is like a life-raft to a drowning man but on the other hand it reminds us that actual game action is still 5 long months away. Still, over the past few years the A-Day game has been televised so we are treated to the sight of Coach Saban in action, giving instruction during simulated game play. April also brings us the Masters golf tournament. Even non golf fans can enjoy watching the Masters in HDTV since you can basically read the greens and clearly see that Phil is playing a Titleist 2.
May
May is an underrated sports month because of the Kentucky Derby. The Derby is, in my opinion, one of the greatest sporting events in the world. What other event combines ridiculous hats, a week long party, bourbon cocktails and wagering on large animals ridden by tiny men? I highly recommend attending a Kentucky Derby party if you have the opportunity, and if you don’t have the opportunity I recommend throwing one yourself. In fact, email or twitter message me and I’ll send you my mint julep recipe. Running a simple betting pool on the race is pretty easy as well as enjoyable. The women like having the excuse to wear nice dresses and hats (and usually are the best horse handicappers) and the men enjoy the drinking and gambling. Chances are someone in your circle of friends has already claimed the annual Halloween, Christmas and New Year’s parties so I suggest making the Kentucky Derby your thing. May also brings us the tail end of the Tide softball season which is a nice bonus. I simply cannot watch baseball on TV, but I actually enjoy watching the Alabama women’s softball team. The games don’t take all that long and the Tide usually dominates. Hopefully this year’s team can take a page from the 2009 football team’s book and finally slay the UF dragon.
June
I’ll admit, June can be a tough month. There is nothing but NBA playoffs and baseball on TV — neither of which are a very palatable offering. Fall football practice hasn’t started and by this point there is no end in sight to the off-season. The only saving grace is that summer is in full swing so beach vacations, neighborhood swimming pools and cookouts fill the void. If you’ve stuck to your New Year’s Resolution to get in better shape, then training for and racing a 5K, 10K, marathon, or triathlon will make the summer fly by. From a football standpoint, this is one of the scariest months due to what has become a sad annual tradition, the slew of player arrests. While tempting to laugh at the inevitable Tennessee, Auburn and Florida brushes with the law it is dangerous since we don’t want to anger the football spirits and have them exact revenge by seeing our defensive secondary decimated by injuries and misdemeanors. It is best to say nothing publicly while internally thanking everything that is good and pure that Nick Saban doesn’t have time for that crap.
In next week’s final installment we will tackle the home stretch of the off-season and look forward to those days where the beginning of another football season is upon us. Roll Tide.