The Crimson Tide Fan’s Guide to Surviving the Offseason: Part 3
By Kevin Ross
The long offseason is here, though it lingers with the sweet taste of victory. So far we’ve looked at some suggestions for getting through the longest duration of the non-football calendar, but today we will examine the two months that feel like the longest: July and August.
July
July would be so much easier to endure if I liked baseball. I can tolerate it in small doses if attending a game in person. Even then, I find myself more interested in trying to eat a hot dog and drink a beer every inning than the “action” on the diamond.
The first three or four innings are usually a breeze, with both hot dog and beer conquered in the top half of the inning, but from inning five on, the contest usually becomes a battle of wills; a battle that I have never actually won. On TV however, baseball is just unwatchable. I can sometimes watch the Reds bat, but that’s about the limit of my baseball attention span. If MLB were to start allowing defensive players to tackle runners I might get interested, but until then it’s a no-go for me.
July is not completely devoid of sports entertainment however. I always enjoy watching the British Open golf tournament even with the time difference. Actually I think the time difference is one of the reasons I enjoy the Open Championship so much. Live sports broadcasts available upon waking up is one of life’s great pleasures, to which I am sure West Coast football fans and East Coast drunks can attest.
I like the Open because it is usually a difficult challenge for the world’s best golfers, but not in the same way the US Open is. The British Open is difficult because of the natural terrain and the elements; it’s man against nature, just as it was when the game was invented. The US Open is difficult simply because the USGA goes overboard in trying to make the best tour players look like weekend hackers, and in the process butchers some of our nation’s greatest golf courses.
The British Open also serves as a yearly reminder of how lucky I am to live in America, since inevitably the weather over there turns foul and the players have to endure rain and cold. Rain, wind and cold in July is just not something people should have to put up with.
July also brings us the Belmont Stakes, the third leg in horse racing’s triple crown. I have previously stated my affinity for the sport of kings, and while the Derby is head and shoulders above the Preakness and Belmont, only the Belmont has the means to provide a triple crown winner. I’ve never seen a horse win the triple crown in my lifetime, but over the past few years there have been a few horses come agonizingly close only to fade in the Belmont. Hope springs eternal though, and I hope to see the feat achieved one of these years. If Nick Saban ever decides to get into thoroughbred racing, find his horse and bet it hard.
August
August is truly the cruelest month for college football fans. The dawn of a new season is so close, but still just out of reach. There’s no two ways about it; August is just a pretty bleak sports month. The English soccer season gets rolling, but that only provides relief to a small segment of the population. There is NFL preseason football, so at least we can see some former Tide players at the next level. The NFL preseason is essentially extortion by the owners though; charging regular season prices for horrible football is criminal.
The month’s saving grace is the trickle of Crimson Tide football news that grows into a stream as the month progresses. Nowadays with Twitter, news sites and blogs (like this one), we can start to get a sense of which players are looking good in practice, how position battles are shaping up, and which players are forcing coaches to give them more playing time by working hard in the offseason.
The oppressively hot weather, humidity and overall malaise of August draws the month out to a crawl. The bright side though, is that each passing day, no matter how slow, brings us closer to that glorious autumn Saturday when our beloved Crimson Tide finally retakes the field to continue their reign of dominance over the rest of the SEC and the nation.