Your Weekly Auburn Zen: Stay Classy Edition

It’s that time again, where we scour the Auburn message boards like a city employee cleaning out a YMCA shower stall, for a look at what they’re saying on the Auburn message boards. As always, spelling and grammar errors are in the original text.

"Aight, name one guy who wasn’t listed as a “NFL ready” prospect out of High School that Coach midget put in The League and was successful."
"I’ve not missed an IB since 1980. What got me to thinking on this was I seen Billy Neighbors had passed away ( sincere condolences to his family ) and after it was announced which I thought was 87 I somehow got Billys # and called him and told him to ” never say never ” and I have never took a cussing like that in my life."
"If I were John Hannah, I’d call my Doc tomorrow and schedule a physical."
"While I hate to speak ill of the deceased, very few people have done more to hurt/try to hurt AU than him. Long time officer of the REC. Long time distributor of the recruiting and media “funds”. He has led most of the efforts against AU over the years. Both in the media and behind the scenes. He personally was responsible for much of the Cam stuff in the media. He absolutely HATED anything having to do with AU. He also played a big role in the Albert Means stuff. All of this is the stone cold truth, so pardon me if I don’t shed a tear."
"If God is an Auburn fan then Billy is in trouble."
"alternative uniforms are ghey. If we had chitty uni’s like spuat I could see making a change but we dont."
"I’m all for competition as well, that’s what makes a team and player better and I want the best at AU but these kids are crazy if they think Saban won’t turn on them for the next hotshot"
"Zeke Pike’s autograph is worth more than a Pat Dye auto according to Ebay. Who would pay $70 for a Zeke Pike autographed mini helmet? Anyone?"
"If AU does not win at least 9 games this year, Chizik should be fired because anything less does not justify the pay raise we gave him."
"What happened to AU being about “family”? Family is bonded by loyalty to each other more so than a pay check."
"If you had a job where the administration and “higher-ups” were constantly working against you, your work would probably look like you didn’t giveashit either. The biggest thing holding Auburn back in any sport is Auburn."
"The Chizik hire was about as gutsy as it gets. There aren’t many other ADs out there with the testicular fortitude to have make that call."
"Van Gorder was hired the day after his team got booted from the playoffs and was a hire worth waiting on."
"Besides that, AU football recruiting has never been better than under CGC."
"Scarbinsky’s long been the best basketball writer in this state. He MIGHT the best, most unbiased in the entire history of the state."

And finally, one fan understands the meaning of processed:

"Everybody on our schedule last year had more draft picks, except Samford and Florida Atl. and they both had one."

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