Alabama Football: 4 Players That Will Solve the Swag Deficit


The Crimson Tide football team is on a roll. Two BCS National Championships in three seasons, one Heisman trophy won and another stolen out of petty jealousy, and a host of coaches sent to the unemployment line suggest that we are experiencing another golden age of Alabama football.

There is a threat looming on the horizon however; something silent and dangerous that could derail the program’s momentum. That threat is more frightening than any Tiger, Razorback, Gator or Bulldog. That threat is a severe absence of swag.

For the past two seasons, the Tide has benefited from the services of Dre Kirkpatrick who was Alabama’s – nay college football’s  – Sultan of Swag. Dre has since swaggered off to Cincinnati, leaving Tuscaloosa with a deficit of swagga. Just as no one player can replace Trent Richardson as a running back, no single human can replace Kirkpatrick in the swag department. The only solution is to adopt a system of Swagga by Committee.  I hereby call on the following players to step in and swag up.

Robert Lester: I nominate Lester to chair the Swag Committee in 2012. He has the look and he has the game; now we just need to see the attitude. Lester has a nose for the ball and an appreciation of the big moment, and thanks to sharing a backfield with Dre Kirkpatrick and Mark Barron, he has swag by association. I can’t recall just how many times over the past two seasons I have been watching an Alabama game where an opponent drives into Tide territory and is threatening to score only to say to myself “it’s okay, Lester is going to pick one off.”  More often than not Lester has delivered. Show us the swagga Robert; it’s time to shine.

Vinnie Sunseri: Last season young Vinnie saw significant playing time as a true freshman. He made the most of his opportunities, both at safety and on special teams. The more sadistic among us derived unthinkable pleasure from Sunseri’s symphony of violence on kickoff coverage. Sunseri’s human missiles did so much damage that the United Nations tried to impose sanctions on the state of Alabama for employing a weapon of such complete and utter destruction. Now it’s time for Vinnie the Kid to adopt the air and persona of Baddest Man on the Planet.  Knocking the fur off of a Wolverine would be a good way to start.

C.J. Mosley: Mosley staked an early claim to the role of the next terrorizing Alabama linebacker when he intercepted Jordan Jefferson’s flaccid attempt at a shovel pass in the national title game (in case you’d forgotten, it was a mauling folks; a mauling). It’s time for C.J. to seize the mantle from Hightower and Upshaw and become the grim reaper of the Crimson Tide defense. I’d like to see Mosley stare down opposing quarterbacks so intensely that they burst into tears before breaking the huddle, then dispatch them with extreme prejudice. He has the training; he has the experience; now it is time for Mosley to let the swag out of the bag.

AJ McCarron: The offense needs to be represented on the swag committee, lest the defense have all the fun. Traditionally Alabama’s offenses are anything but swag-tastic, and you’ll find no bigger fan of old-fashioned, simple, subtle-as-an-anvil offense than myself.

Times change though, and we as fans must change with them. The last Tide quarterback to have some glide in his stride was probably Broadway Joe. AJ has the confidence required to not only win a national championship ring, but to put a massive, gaudy tattoo on his chest.  That is pure Gulf Coast swag right there.

AJ has done a great job of finding open receivers, making safe and efficient throws, and letting his running game work for him. Now, I think it’s time for Mr. McCarron to unleash the dragon. At least once per half I would love to see AJ saunter up to the line of scrimmage, glance at the defense, then declare “screw this, everybody go deep.”  The only downside to this is that McCarron may be putting his life in jeopardy by pulling a stunt like that. Coach Saban isn’t one to tolerate deviation from the plan, and has been known to dispense justice in a palm-to butt-fashion.

The 2012 season will present numerous challenges to the Alabama Crimson Tide. A young secondary, a lack of experience at wide receiver and road trips to Fayetteville and Baton Rouge are all hurdles the Tide will have to overcome to have success this season. The Tide’s secret weapon to combat these challenges needs to be the four horsemen of the Swag-pacolypse.

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