What if Nick Saban Ran For President?

What if Nick Saban ran for President of the United States? What issues would he tackle? How would he handle the spotlight? Bama Hammer, after hours, nay, days of research have come to some very serious conclusions.

Who would be his running mate?

Who could help balance out Nick Saban’s stone cold stare and perfect decision making? He would need someone that makes him look good while also going along with everything his says without question. Obviously, he would also need to be good looking and can deal with the people. Who is this person? Who compliments Nick Saban the best? Nobody. Nick Saban would take on the roles of both president and vice president. He does not need some fool getting in his way while he is trying to run the country. He will simply do both jobs. At once.

Issue #1: Illegal Immigration the United States

Well, as we have seen on the field, Saban does appreciate a lot of depth. He likes knowing there is always someone there just in case the one doing the work gets hurt or needs a break. That being said, he would hand out work visas like they were candy and reevaluate the situation after several months. See who makes the cut. Who is pulling their weight?

Issue #2: North Korea

Nobody bullies the United States and gets away with it. The United States will always impose a sanction or two on the country that attempts to push us around. Do these sanctions do much of anything? Never seems like it. President Saban would without a doubt take immediate action. Just like his ability to sweet talk a recruit to come to Alabama to more than likely play third-string for most of their career, he would recruit China. He would ask China to stop supporting North Korea. Could this cause tension between the United States and China after countless decades of work to restore some sort of civility between the two nations? It would if it was anyone besides President Saban. Just like he does with recruits, he would study China’s interests and bring an offer to the table North Korea could not simply match. Do I know what this offer might be? Hell no. I don’t even know how that man magically recruits some players to Alabama.

Issue #3: Unemployment in the United States

Jan 24, 2015; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban during the halftime of the game against the Auburn Tigers at Coleman Coliseum. Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

I think this is a simple fix for President Saban. Once he was sworn in he would hold a televised speech. This speech would focus directly in on his face – no background for you to try to focus on – simply the cold-hearted stare of the greatest and most powerful man on Earth. Just like the locker room speech he gave to his players a few years back against LSU, he would ignite the nation. President Saban would encourage, no demand, that those who have lost faith in the job hunt to get back up and continue to look. He would tell those who have jobs to spend a little more. He would then get Scott Cochran to do a tour across the country pumping up employers, giving them the hope they need to hire a few more people here and there.

Finally, how would Nick Saban handle the spotlight? This is an interesting topic as we all know he enjoys yelling at a reporter and storming away from a podium when he is asked the wrong question too many times. I think he would continue to have this explosive and unpredictable personality. But let me ask you this: WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SOMETHING ELSE? I mean the true genius behind this tactic, especially when running for office, is that is so raw. Would you not stop talking about a subject if you found it annoying or if you had already discussed it? Nope. His intensity he has when he storms off the podium is what he would for you on a daily basis to make this country great. It also shows that while he seems untouchable and truly better than all of us, he is human.