Official Ole Miss Hate Week Guide


Derrick Henry’s coming for you Rebels, and I can assure you you’re not going to like what he’s bringing with him.
Mandatory Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports
Ahhh the rematch folks, it’s almost upon us. It’s officially #OleMissHateWeek and boy do I have some extra hate built up this year.
You may have noticed that we skipped a week but let’s be honest. I don’t have any extra hate room in my heart for teams such as Middle Tennessee State. Don’t worry though Ole Miss I’ve saved up just for you. It’s officially Ole Miss hate week!
Let’s start with this; have you people settled on a mascot yet? I mean I thought the Auburn War Eagle Tigers were bad but you people definitely take the cake. Seriously, what is your mascot? Rebels? Black Bears? Rebel Black Bears? Hotty Tottys? Landsharks? Bowties? Or are you the Admiral Ackbars? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
Yes, this exists.
Speaking of bowties; you know who I miss? J.T Bowtie. Man that guy was awesome, wouldn’t you agree Black Bears?
The two most successful coaches in Auburn history?
Can we talk about your campus speed limit? 18 is not a legitimate speed limit. I don’t care who your quarterback was. Speaking of Archie Manning, remember that awesome game he had against Alabama in the first ever primetime college football game? He still lost.
Ole Miss was the first team to give Tommy “Two Ears” Tubberville a head coaching job. Tubberville said about the Ole Miss job that you’d have to carry him out of there in a pine box… He left for Auburn two days later.
How bad is your program when you leave your current job to “take a step up” to a DIVISION RIVAL! Can you imagine Bill Belichick up and telling the Pats, I think I’m going to go coach the Dolphins?
Houston Nutt.
Some Ole Miss Futility Facts:
The last time Ole Miss won the SEC? Their current head coach hadn’t even been born yet. Freeze’s birth was still six years away.
The last time Ole Miss won in Tuscaloosa I hadn’t even been born…I’m now 25.
Care to guess how many consensus All Americans Ole Miss has throughout their history? 12. Alabama has 59 and counting…
The SEC Championship Game has been played annually since 1992. Ole Miss has never made an appearance…even Mississippi State got to one.
The Blind Side is garbage. The best part of that movie is Nick Saban.
Jeremiah Masoli.
Yes Ole Miss I know you beat us last year and I truly do congratulate you. It was a big accomplishment, probably the biggest in your programs history in fact! At least you celebrated it like it was, good job folks!
Apparently the art of sarcasm is lost on you Ole Miss fans. Back in our common opponent series I wrote the following regarding Cyrus Jones’ clear facemask.
“Ole Miss got out to a 3-0 lead then Alabama scored 14 unanswered as Cyrus Jones returned a fumble for a TD right before the half and no, there was most definitely, 100% no facemask on that play”
Blatant use of sarcasm right? Apparently, not to Ole Miss fans as they took to their message boards and my Twitter feed to try and educate me further on the great game of football.
Speaking of last year you had a historic season by Ole Miss Standards going 9-4; including a 39 point loss in your bowl game…but YOU STILL MADE RINGS!
This is a real thing that Ole Miss Did…
Quit beating around the bush, a 9-4 season in which you beat Alabama is one of your best ever so you had to come up with rings for it. Just put “We Somehow Managed to Beat Alabama” on these things and let’s move on. I can’t imagine any player actually wears this ring.
Jevan Snead.
The Grove is highly overrated. Trust me I’ve been; to be honest I’d rather tailgate at the Junction in Starkville any day of the week. Putting a chandelier in a tailgating tent isn’t classy, it’s just stupid.
Let’s get to your out of conference schedule this year. UT Martin, Fresno State, New Mexico State then a tough road trip TO MEMPHIS! Watch out Mississippi State, Ole Miss is coming for that weak OOC schedule national title!
Be honest Grove People; how much did you pay noted step-father puncher Laremy Tunsil? Tunsil’s been “held out” the past two weeks to please the NCAA. But I’ll match every cent that he was paid in any bet that says he plays this weekend.
Let’s get to Saturday. 8:15 kick! Woo hoo! Oh and College Gameday will be there. Don’t worry, we won’t let the Katy Perry debacle repeat itself.
Can you handle a REAL tailgating scene that long Ole Miss Fans? We’ll see come Saturday, Roll Tide! Have a wonderful Ole Miss hate week!
Nick Saban eagerly awaits your arrival Black Bears.
Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports