Alabama Football: Tennessee Hate Week Guide


Joey Freshwater is ready for Saturday Vols; are you?

Mandatory Credit: Jim Brown-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to your worst nightmare hill people; #TennesseeHateWeek is finally here! Alabama football has got a lot of hate to let out for you fine folks from Knoxville, I hope you’re ready.

So Tennessee is coming off a “big” win against Georgia and they now think they have an actual chance of beating us on Saturday. Just a reminder Vols; we beat that same Georgia team 38-10 in Georgia and we didn’t even have to seriously injure their best player to do it!

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Hey at least you got to wear those oh so cute gray uniforms! I’m hearing Mugatu declared those his must have of the fashion season. Because wearing a jersey that has nothing to do with your actual school colors makes all the sense in the world.

I checked, gray is not an official school color.

Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

Prior to the win against Georgia, Tennessee had been one of the more embarrassing teams in the country. Want proof?

That Ain’t Good

Yup, congrats Vols you blew at least a 13 point lead three games out of a four game stretch! At least you got a big win over Western Carolina in the middle!

Game Winner.

Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

Tennessee against Oklahoma:

17-3 lead going into the fourth quarter. 31-24 loss in overtime. Hey, at least you were able to make your stadium look like a giant uneven checkerboard!

I assume your obsession with checkerboards came from Phillip Fulmer who was too fat to participate in real activities, so he grew fond of checkers.

11 straight loses to the Gators.

Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Tennessee against Florida:

27-14 lead in the fourth quarter. Fourth and 14 with 1:26 left in the game? Florida Touchdown. The icing on the cake? Tennessee still had a chance to win it but they missed a 55 yard field goal.

Another devastating loss in the Butch Jones era.

Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports

Arkansas Game:

14-0 lead. No points in the fourth quarter to lose to a team that lost to Toledo at home. Good job!

So yeah I think it’s safe to say that holding on to leads is not Butch Jones’ strong suit. I’m okay with it though, please keep him Tennessee so he can continue his “brick-by-brick” approach to blowing huge leads.

Now it’s time to check in with one of my favorite people of all time:

My man Irvin Carney with some truth bombs about the awful people from Tennessee.

So lets talk about Neyland Stadium. I’ve probably been to over 20 college football stadiums and Neyland Stadium takes the cake as being the absolute worst. It’s as if some genius Tennessee alum was like hey let’s take this stadium that should only hold 80,000 or so and make it hold over 100,000 without actually adding on! Hey great idea! The only people that can sit comfortably in that stadium are infants.

Also, “Rocky Top” is a truly awful song. This is an actual lyric from that song:

“Once I had a girl on Rocky Top
Half bear, the other half cat
Wild as a mink, sweet as soda pop
I still dream about that”

Is a girl that’s half bear and half cat really dream worthy? Apparently in Tennessee.

I will forever love Lane Kiffin for what he did to you, leaving you in the middle of the night for USC. You know your program is trash when a coach leaves it in the middle of the night to go join a team under heavy probations.

Have you seen your darling Peyton Manning lately? He currently has more interceptions than touchdowns!

It has been nine years since Tennessee beat Alabama football, yes you read that correctly NINE years! I was still in high school then. I’m now 25. In fact Saban has never lost to Tennessee since he’s been at Alabama. I could spend all day on this but I’m sure over the past nine years you’ve heard it all.

Let’s get this streak to a decade on Saturday folks. Roll Tide!