SEC Football: One Big Dysfunctional Family

Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports
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Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

If the SEC football teams were a part of the same real-life family, what would that look like? Who would be the Smart Kid? The Crazy Uncle? The Grandpa?

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Well, we have the answers as BamaHammer explores the possible roles each of the 14 SEC football teams might play in our big, dysfunctional family.

Each of the 14 Southeastern Conference schools has its own distinct “personality”. Vanderbilt is known for being “the smart school”, Kentucky is the “basketball school,” Alabama is “amazing”…you get the picture.

Fans of the SEC are known for chanting “SEC! SEC! SEC!” at big games that pit SEC football against other conferences, and most of us genuinely want the other schools in our divisions to do well for one reason or another. (It strengthens our schedules, makes us look good, and generally annoys the rest of the country).

SEC folks refer to ourselves as the SEC Family from time to time. But….what would happen if the schools and their football teams really WERE a family? What role would each of the 14 dynamic personalities play in the creation of this giant, dysfunctional familial unit? Who would be the favorite child? What about the relatives who only show up once or twice a year and then disappear as if they never existed?

We’ve looked carefully at each school and have come up with our own depiction of the Southeastern Conference’s family tree. It’s big, twisted, and always a little strange, but at the end of the day, we still share the passionate DNA that creates the powerhouse of all conferences: SEC Football.

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