Bama Hammer
Fansided

Coach O’s Death Valley Dreams Will Become a Nightmare

By Kevin Brooks

Oct 8, 2016; Fayetteville, AR, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban reacts to a call during the first quarter against the Arkansas Razorbacks at Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 8, 2016; Fayetteville, AR, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban reacts to a call during the first quarter against the Arkansas Razorbacks at Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports /
facebooktwitterreddit

I hate to break it to ol’ Coach O, but your dream job is fixing to turn into a living nightmare.

America has an entitlement problem.

For proof, look no further then the LSU football program. What do you think Leonard Fournette, the phenom All-American running back and team leader for LSU, has been up to this week? Maybe watching film? Maybe calling for players-only team meeting discussing the biggest game of the season?

Oh no, he’s been doing none of that. Instead of studying the Alabama defense, Fournette been making the music playlist for the team’s workouts. Yes that is correct, you heard me – he has been making the music playlist for team workouts featuring such musical acts as “Future” and someone named “Young Nah”.

Fournette is busy with his pals playing and laughing having a good ol’ time listening to Future and some dirtneck named Young Nah. Let me tell you something, a’ight – do you know what Leonard Fournette is gonna get this weekend vs. the Jeremy Pruitt-led Alabama defense? NAH NAH. Nothing. He ain’t paid the cost to be the boss.

Entitlement issues start at the top

At the top of LSU was the blind squirrel that found the nut, Les Miles (aka The Hat), but finally after excuse-making by fans and alums they pulled the trigger on firing him. LSU decided they have seen enough of their lackluster performances capping off The Hat’s tenure with a weak performance against Auburn in what was called the U-Haul Game – because whoever lost was gonna get fired. The 18-13 victory instilled some fragile temporary confidence into the Auburn program, and in the process took it all out of the LSU bigwigs and fan base.

Live Feed

UAB vs. Georgia Prediction, Odds, Trends and Key Players for College Football Week 4
UAB vs. Georgia Prediction, Odds, Trends and Key Players for College Football Week 4 /

Betsided

  • Charlotte vs. Florida Prediction, Odds, Trends and Key Players for College Football Week 4Betsided
  • Is Michael Penix Jr. the best quarterback in college football?With the First Pick
  • Most heartwarming social media reactions to Nick Chubb's injurySaturday Blitz
  • Florida State vs. Clemson Prediction, Odds, Trends and Key Players for College Football Week 4Betsided
  • Arkansas vs. LSU Prediction, Odds, Trends and Key Players for College Football Week 4Betsided

    • It was so bad losing to that silly cow college and their silly offense that the money in Baton Rouge stepped in and fired The Hat without a debate and or argument just four games into the season. That is bad folks, really bad. But I have some good news for the folks in Baton Rouge: lucky for them that grass-eating dirtneck Les Miles had the universal “I can do everything, I’ve been everywhere” man Ed Orgeron on staff! You know, the guy that talks like Framer Fram from the classic movie “The Waterboy”. He even has a SAG-AFTRA card just like Nick Saban … he’s hired!

    Do you know what Butch Jones and Ed Orgeron have in common? Well, its really several things but my top three are as follows: 1. Both have a $3 haircut they paid too much for; 2. Both are a little overweight and look like hot and spicy sausage-neck goobs when red-faced mad; 3. Both will not be SEC head coaches next year, because they are gonna be fired and it will be Nick Saban’s fault.

    Terry Bowden, Houston Nutt, Gene Chizik and Urban Meyer (to name a few) all thought they had what it takes to beat an Alabama-led Nick Saban team but failed. I ask you, what makes you think “Coach O” has what it takes to get the job done? What makes Ed Orgeron any different then the Mark Richts, Phillip Fulmers or Tommy Tubbervilles of the world?

    He is just another victim.

    You wanna know what ol’ “Coach O” is doing right now? He is curled up in a dark corner in a closet with a bucket of ice cream, stroking his little LSU stuffed kitty in the fetal position because he is sad and depressed like a schoolgirl who lost her boyfriend scared to death of this weekend’s showdown with rival Alabama. Ed has finally made his way, by hook or by crook, into his childhood dream job spot – head coach of his home state-beloved LSU Tigers.

    I hate to break it to ol’ Coach O, but your dream job is fixing to turn into a living nightmare. While you have been sitting back eating gumbo and them jumbo shrimp, Coach Saban has been watching film. Lane Kiffin your good friend, works for Coach Saban. And by the time he’s done picking Lane Kiffin’s head about what you like to do, LSU will be lucky of they cross the 50-yard line vs. Alabama – only this time it won’t be on the big stage for a national title, it will be in your backyard on your beloved home field known as Death Valley.

    Next: The BamaHammer Eulogy - LSU's Danny Etling

    Death Valley its where Ed Orgeron’s hopes and dreams of being that head coach that beats Alabama in 2016 goes to die. Don’t worry, LSU fans and alums, you won’t have to be the bad guy and fire him for no reason.

    Alabama is going to give you a reason.

    Home/Alabama Crimson Tide News