Alabama Football: “Pawwl, Pawwwl, PAWWWL” !!!
By Ronald Evans
Don’t stress out because you can’t find all the information you need on Alabama football. Check in with Bama Hammer daily and you won’t be like this frustrated Finebaum caller.
“Pawwl, Pawwwl, PAWWWL”!!!
“Answer the damn phone – or at least put one them pretty ESPN boys who work for you – put one of them on the line – I need help.”
“Hello – Hello – Is that you Pawl? Oh John – it’s you. Alright then – I neeed Pawl today.”
“My beloved Alabama Crimson Tide football team has started spring practice. Yes, yes – that’s good but I got a big, big problem I can’t find a new depth chart nowhere.”
“I done sent 277 emails to Nick and Bill Battler and that new boy, Byrne or something, and Bobby Williams and Nick’s bodyguard Cedric and not a one has answered me.”
“John – don’t tell me how busy they are – I don’t care. I got to have a new Alabama football depth chart.”
Alabama Crimson Tide Football
“I’m so desperate I even have my no-account, brother-in-law working on this problem – I have talked him into laying out of work – not that it took much talking – anyway – he’s driving to Tuscaloosa to see what he can find.”
“I’d go myself – but ever since I wrenched my knee running for Nick’s autograph back at Fan-Day -I hadn’t been able to get around too well.”
“I know Pawl can fix my problem. Him and Nick are thick as thieves – not that I have a problem with that mind you – even though Pawl did use to suck Big Orange before he saw the light. But I done forgive him long ago – and I neeed my depth chart.”
“I am so worried about who will replace Cam and Jonathan and Reuben and Eddie and Ryan and Dalvin and Marlon – but I got to tell you I am disappointed with Marlon leaving early – I know his Daddy did not raise him like that.”
“John – John – where’d you go John – I have to talk to Pawl today.”
“Damn them sumbitches hung up on me”
Don’t stress out like that Finebaum caller. Check in with us every day and send us your comments on Facebook. We’re fans too and we are as interested in Alabama football as you are.
And if anybody comes up with a depth chart, please send us a copy.