Alabama Football Night Before Christmas 2017
We at BamaHammer.com want to wish all of you a happy holiday season with this Alabama football twist on the classic poem, The Night Before Christmas.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when in Alabama,
Not a Tide fan was stirring, not even a Gramma;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes St. Nicholas Saban would be there;
Football players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the Sugar Bowl danced in their heads;
And Cochran the Chief had taken off his cap,
To just settle down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on BDS field there arose such a clatter,
The players sprang up to see what was the matter.
Away to the locker room Sims flew like a flash,
Scarbrough bashed through the doors and blew up the sash.
The moon on the crest of the new-fallen snow
Gave the light to the mid-field logo below,
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a Saban smile, and 15 recruits here,
With the little head coach, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than any War Eagle they came,
And he whistled for the youth and called them by name;
“Now, Jobe! now, Anoma! now, Latu, Ford, and Ekiyor!
On, Barmore! on Bolden! on, Parks and Skylar DeLong!
To the top I say Davis! to the top Wynn and Brown!
Now dash away, Williams! dash Smith! dash away all!”
As Armour-Davis, the in-state recruit joined their flight,
They met with the veterans to learn of the plight,
Of being held to The Process that they all must do,
For which all are accountable, St. Nicholas too.
And then, in the weight room, they heard from afar
The lifting and lowering of each weighted bar.
As they drew in their heads, OC Daboll looked scared,
“Give me the BALL!” said Damien Harris with teeth barred.
He was drenched all in sweat, from his head to his foot,
And no sign of honey buns in his body he put;
An excited Ridley he had flung on his back,
For they knew that Hurts now had a balanced attack.
Evans’ eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
He was ready to make opposing QBs wary!
Fitzpatrick was finally set to take a bow,
As his MVP season could spell NFL now;
The only soul nervous was heard grinding his teeth,
As Holcombe honored Moses’ hurt foot with a wreath;
It made new starter Hassenauer rub his round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
JK Scott was all dressed like Will Ferrell from Elf,
And Buggs laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;
A wink of Hurts’ eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave Tide fans to know they had nothing to dread;
Saban spoke not a word, but went straight to his studies,
And gave playbooks to all of his coaching buddies,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the winning odds they rose;
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He sprang to the practice field, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A ROLL TIDE!
- Based off of the original poem by Clement Clarke Moore