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A Thank You Note For Ohio State

By Charles Evans

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Dear Ohio State,
 
I just wanted to drop you a short note to say thank you. Thank you for keeping Braxton Miller.
 
I know Braxton Miller was a great quarterback in his time, and I’m sure he’s going to be the bestest H-back in the land, but I’m glad he passed on Alabama.
 
Braxton was smart to stick with Urban, Heisman level running quarterbacks coached by Urban Meyer have a solid history of success as talking heads on the SEC Network. Maybe Braxton Miller can start speaking at churches or go on a super fun circumcising tour of the Philippines?
 
It must be tough for Braxton to know that he’s not the top banana anymore, but Cardale Jones certainly didn’t come to Ohio State to “play school.”
 
This is the kind of class that sets the B1G apart from the plebeian conferences.
 
The real problem with Braxton Miller coming to Alabama is that it would have started yet another quarterback controversy. I’d like to see the Tide pick a quarterback, and then let that QB have a few years at the helm, that’s the Alabama way. Let’s not fall into the trap of becoming LSU and living like quarterback vultures circling the dismissed for violating team rules carcasses of other schools.
 
It would have been fun to see Braxton Miller run wild out on the field for Bama, but if he can’t hold up playing Northwestern, Rutgers, Indiana, Illinois, Purdue, Maryland, and Iowa then what chance would he have of lasting against real football teams? I think playing in the Big 10 is the best way for Braxton to make sure that he’s healthy for the NFL.
 
Look at all the success Denard Robinson has had at the Jaguars. Maybe Braxton Miller can be the Denard Robinson of the Cleveland Browns!
 
Finally, I’d like to thank an Ohio State for waking the Nick Saban kraken from its slumber. I love Nick Saban, but let’s be honest he didn’t have a ton of motivation. Saban was proclaimed by all to be the best of the best, to be unparalleled in the world of college football, what did he have to prove?
 
Now Nick Saban and Alabama have something to live for, sweet sweet vengeance. An Ohio State is the greatest football team in the nation, but a new season starts soon. The last time Nick Saban lost to Urban Meyer, a spark was struck that led to Alabama’s great run. Unfortunately it also led to Urban Meyer having a heart attack and Tebow crying on the field… maybe you should bring a defibrillator with you this winter? We can’t wait to see you again.
 
It’s probably because the Florida players decided that they couldn’t lose, it might be what happened to the Alabama players last year. I’m sure your players won’t fall into that trap, they seem like a very serious and studious bunch who will have their head in the game.
 
With the warmest regards and a hope that you coast through your cupcake schedule so that you don’t have any idea what’s coming,
 
Bama Hammer
 

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