Auburn Football: Your Weekly Auburn Zen – Pageant Edition

Just because there’s no football going on, doesn’t mean they’re not finding reasons to be up in arms over on the Auburn message boards. Let’s kick over the rocks and see what’s lurking underneath, shall we?

First up is the massive attention paid to one Katherine Webb, model and armpiece of Tide quarterback AJ McCarron. She’s also an Auburn graduate:

"The only way to redeem herself is to drop AJ for Cody Parkey and swear he is a better man. Other than that, she is dead to me"

"AJ’s mom comes off as a mouthy pain in the ass."

"That chick must have never met WMFC while he was at AU, or more likely, WMFC didn’t want her."

"She used to be fat"

"Someone on Twitter just advised Samantha Steele to watch her back. Dating McChesttat is going to really “payoff” for Webb"

"How did you younger guys that were on campus let her get out of the fambly?"

"Mallory Hagan, an Opelika native who moved to NYC after a few years at Auburn, just won Miss America as Miss New York."

"Much prettier than that McCarron tranny."

And then there’s the rumor that former

Auburn Tiger

Arkansas State Red Wolf

Michael Dyer has been spotted somewhere near the Auburn campus…

"There’s talk that he’s trying to meet with the staff to get back on the team. Just a rumor, highly doubt this is true. No idea where it came from either"

"I started it. Sorry for partying."

"Gus has been apart of two teams where Dyer got kicked off, he’s not coming back. He just needs to enter the draft."

"Gus better not bring him back. I have no idea if any of this talk is true or where it came from, but Gus was a member of this staff when some of our players were out of control and discipline was lacking. Not saying any of it was his fault, and you can’t stop kids from being kids sometimes, but it’s time to instill some discipline back in our program."

"Kid made some bad choices once he got to college. Who didn’t? He had a gun and smoked spice. I am all for second chances and would make a great comeback story if he was able to succeed and graduate college."

"Call me if you find him. I want some Spice"

"Some of you a-holes wanted Petrino. Dyer looks like a saint next to that asshat."

And THEN, one Dee Liner de-commited:

"Good. Glad to get that drama queen off our hands."

"What a clown this kid has been with all his phony “indignation” over people questioning his commitment. Sincerely hope he he signs with UAT and gets processed after 2 years. This has to be the least surprising decommit of all time. And just for good measure, since we’ve known he was gone for months…"

"What a clown. Hope he never plays a down…"

"Sour grapes, I suppose, but he managed to be a dirtbag without doing a good job of concealing it. So he’s dishonest and unintelligent. Happy to formally be able to move on."

"He’s a friggin neck. No biggie at all. NEXT!"

"Was not gonna post this while he was committed. Grandson played against MS in high school playoffs. IS NOT A AUBURN MAN by standards. Glad that worked out before any more problems."

"This isn’t sour grapes or anything, but I have been less than impressed with his all star game performances and feel like he will lose hIs fifth star. He has bust written all over him."

"It was pretty obvious. Something tells me nobody on the staff is upset about that loss. Kid got WAY too much hype. Did the new staff even recruit him?"

"If he commits to bama he has absolutely no pride, they tried to ruin his name and his family and defaced him publically. I’m not saying that he is a bad kid but any fanbase that spent hours on talk radio degrading me would never get my signature."

"He’s definitely going to bama. I’m sure they sent one of their money men in to “apologize” to him and his family. Adding them to the REC’s payroll was apparently more than enough for them to forget the well organized campaign UAT launched to wreck their son’s life."

"Can honestly say I do not care. I am very happy to have that fiasco over with. Gus Bus moving on."

"Saw this coming. I believe he is very overrated and his a drama queen. And doesn’t help with him having trouble after getting kicked off the team half way through the season and arrested."

"Sounds about par for the course with these POS kids that can’t stay out of trouble. Clearly, he and his parents are ethically and morally bankrupt. Regardless, I wish him and his family nothing but poor health and fiscal destitution."

And finally, one Auburn fan says that in addition to all the descriptives Auburn could offer, Liner will now be well-dressed:

"What a surprise! Guess he gonna be a well dressed, dodge driving, mullet loving, midget tossing cousin banger."