The SEC Tinder Game

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Aunt Gary and Uncle Verne – The odd couple of the SEC

Turn-Ons: talking about how long we’ve been together, complaining about young people, explaining why Tim Tebow should get another shot in the NFL, Olando McCain

Turn-Offs: modern technology, dinner and games that start after 2:30, whippersnappers

Body Type: old but surprisingly limber

Eyes: glaucoma

About Verne and Gary:

Verne – Whoa Nelly, we are just two happening AARP members out looking for a little strange.

Gary – Verne has become insufferable and I need a buffer.

Verne – Gary is just kidding, he always does that, aren’t you Gary?

Gary – I dream about you dying.

What Are You Looking For In A Partner?

Verne – Well we obviously want someone nice, and friendly, and if you LOVE bunko that’s a plus!

Gary – I need someone to help me hide the body.

What Do People Notice First About You?

Verne – I’ve been told I look like a handsome no birth spot Gorbachev

Gary – By who? Who has ever said that to you? I hate you.

Favorite Band: Glenn Miller

Favorite Movie: Some Like it Hot

Religion: Druid

Sexual Preference: Swigners

A Random Fact About You:

Verne – Well this is a crazy random whoa nelly, but I do love vanilla ice cream!

Gary – You are the worst thing to ever happen to me.

If You Could Be Any Animal What Would It Be? Turtle Doves

If You Didn’t Do What You Do Now, What Would You Do? We’d be the puppeteers behind Bert and Ernie.

3 Things You Can’t Live Without:

Verne – I just can’t live without Gary, Gary, and Gary!

Gary – an axe, a gun, poison