The SEC Tinder Game

YOUR SEC TRUE LOVE MATCH IS MARK STOOPS

You’re not going to regret this, I’m so much better than Bob. I know some folks were trying to steer you Bob’s way and I just want you to know, those people are all assholes. If they knew him like I knew him they wouldn’t say that. He’s like a dictator who hands out noogies.

Do you know how many swirllies I got as a child? I had to cut my hair off because it was growing into a permanent cone shape. He was a monster, he put my hand in a bowl of warm water so I would wet the bed… last week, my wife was furious.

Bob is the lesser Stoops, you’ll see, one day I’ll show you, and mom, and dad, and the world!

So are you happy with your choice, or do you want to look around at some other SEC Tinder studs? The choice is yours.