Gary Pinkel – The dad of the SEC
Turn-Ons: Winning the SEC East over, and over, and over
Turn-Offs: Losing the SEC championships game over, and over, and over
Body Type: dadbod
Eyes: clouded by tears of joy for being in the SEC East
About Gary:
I’m just a simple Midwesterner who totally owns the SEC East. I love my dodge stratus and books about World War II. I keep winning the SEC East thanks to Mark Richt.
What Are You Looking For In A Partner?
Someone who loves a classic joke like:
Did you know that your eyesight actually gets better as you get older?
It’s called adult supervision.
or
Wearing too many clothes on a hot day can be dangerous.
You’re putting yourself in apparel.
or this classic I made up for Dan Mullen
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Seriously, I got a million of these.
What Do People Notice First About You?
I do this hilarious thing where I ask waitresses their name and tell them that I’ll be their customer this evening! It totally cracks up my kids.
Favorite Band: Journey
Favorite Movie: anything with Tom Hanks
Religion: Midwesterner
Sexual Preference: Midwesterner
A Random Fact About You: I don’t know how to work my phone. Seriously, can you show me how to download that snake game?
If You Could Be Any Animal What Would It Be? A papa bear! Get it?
If You Didn’t Do What You Do Now, What Would You Do? I’d be the top office supply salesman in Southeast Ohio.
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: the SEC East, my Dodge Stratus, Applebee’s