The SEC Tinder Game

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Nick Saban – The dark lord of the SEC

Turn-Ons: hard work, commitment, oatmeal cream pies, crushing my opponent like a bug, a’ight

Turn-Offs: slackers, losing focus, those two weeks between the bowl game and recruiting, resting, fun, smiles, puppies, a’ight

Body Type: Angry Napoleon

Eyes: They can see that you aren’t committed to this, a’ight

About Nick:

We are Nick Saban, what else do you want us to say? We are going to put the time in to be champions, a’ight. Then we will enjoy that success for 30 seconds and start focusing on our next opponent, a’ight. This cycle will continue until we rule supreme over all of college football and possibly the galaxy.

What Are You Looking For In A Partner?

What kind of question is this? We are looking for the kind of person that understands that the hard work during the journey is the point, not the destination, a’ight. You are obviously not such a person if you need to ask stupid questions like that a’ight. We come in here everyday and you people have questions like this? Why not ask about the game a’ight? I’d ask about the game, but what do I know I guess, aight.

What Do People Notice First About You?

We hope the first thing recruits notice about us is that we are as committed to them as we ask them to be us, a’ight. They can go wherever they want a’ight, but if there goal is to be a champion we can help them achieve that goal, a’ight.

Favorite Band: The Eagles

Favorite Movie: The last movie I watched was Steve McQueen in Bullitt, a’ight. I figured after that there was no point in watching movies anymore.

Religion: That’s between me and Jimmy Sexton, a’ight.

Sexual Preference: You know, we come in here and you don’t even ask questions about football and it pisses us off a’ight. You need to decide what you want out of this, a’ight?

A Random Fact About You: It’s a fact that this questionnaire is a waste of time and has nothing to do with being a champion a’ight.

If You Could Be Any Animal What Would It Be? A horse, because it’s the hardest working animal a’ight.

If You Didn’t Do What You Do Now, What Would You Do? We’d be the best Dairy Queen owner in West Virginia, we’d still be a champion, a’ight.

3 Things You Can’t Live Without: hard work, discipline, oatmeal pies