Last Minute Gift Ideas for Your Token Auburn Family Member
By Clay Shumate
Do you need a last second gift for the Auburn fan in your family? We have got you covered.
It’s that time of the year again, and it’s Christmas. Most of the stores are closed or have been ransacked by all the 11th hour shoppers throughout the yesterday or last night. Thankfully for you, us here at Bama Hammer understand things happen and we’re here to help you complete your holiday shopping…for everyone on your list. Especially that one token Auburn fan that seems to marry into every decent Crimson Tide family.
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Recycling Bin
These past few years for Auburn fans have been extremely rough. They saw their living icons slowly die and with that their football team. While on the surface this may seem like an off-putting gift, be sure to remind your Barn family member that they should know better than anyone the need for pushing the awareness of being environmentally conscious. It also works as a symbol of this transition in their football team, as we see them needing to find yet another new coach and quarterback.
Alcohol
This is a great go-to gift for anyone during the holiday season, especially those who are grieving from a recent loss. Auburn came into the season with the “Heisman winner” and a solid chance of winning the College Football Playoff. Now they do not have a defensive coordinator, their Heisman candidate crashed and burned within the first couple of games, and they’re going to the Birmingham Bowl. As we go through this bowl season, keep in mind how difficult this time of the year is for Auburn fans and be sure to give them the gift of being able to forget.
Dusk-to-Dawn LED Night Light
Barners seemed to get some comfort in their very fancy new scoreboard as the season approached. Did Aubietron replay more losses than wins? Absolutely. However, this is Auburn’s biggest accomplishment of the season. It may be their biggest accomplishment for the next several years. When you’re thinking of what gift to get your token Barner, be sure to keep their well-being in mind. We all need to sleep well. Giving them the gift of an extra bright night light will give them the illusion of being next to their impressive scoreboard. Much like a moth to a light.
Defensive Coordinator
Yes, they are still on the look out for a defensive coordinator. The issue with Auburn is their program is such a mess and the city structure surrounding the campus is non-existent. So, why would anyone want to come coach in this nightmare? This is the question most having been asking themselves and they cannot seem to find an answer either. Do the Auburn Faumbly a big favor and ask your neighborhood peewee football coach if he could spare a few months helping out a struggling team.
The Return of Mike DuBose
This will never happen, but attempt to shuffle through all your old Bama stuff and find some memorabilia that reminds them of a different time. A small window in time when they somehow dominated us. A nice $5 football with his signature, a program with his face or simply a framed picture will go a long way. If you’re feeling generous go on and combine this gift with the gift of alcohol. This will give your token Barner hours of fun living in the past.
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Merry Christmas to all of Bama Nation! Roll Tide!