Bama Hammer
Fansided

Alabama Football Conspiracies Have Started and It’s Glorious

By Chris Hale

Sep 13, 2014; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide mascot Big Al waves the Alabama flag following their 52-12 victory against the Southern Miss Golden Eagles at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports
Sep 13, 2014; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Alabama Crimson Tide mascot Big Al waves the Alabama flag following their 52-12 victory against the Southern Miss Golden Eagles at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Mandatory Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports /
facebooktwitterreddit

It didn’t take long for the Alabama football conspiracy theories to start up after the Tide’s Cam Robinson and Laurence “Hootie” Jones were cleared.

ICYMI: More Details on Robinson, Jones Emerging from DA

I even mentioned it in the first post I made on Monday after the news broke that the district attorney had declined to prosecute Jones and Robinson.

I am convinced that some of these folks would be the dumbest people that I have ever encountered if I met them out in public.

More from Bama Hammer

The tin foil hats were out in full force on Monday and luckily, we visited Auburn, LSU, and Tennessee message boards to bring you the best of the meltdowns. No one paid any attention to the reports that came out about the insufficient evidence or the fact that some things were omitted in the original reports.

It’s all the fault of the district attorney in Monroe. It doesn’t matter that he has a history of helping younger folks that haven’t been in trouble. They see Alabama and turn to rage.

We did all of the work so you guys and gals could get your favorite beverage and enjoy some of the best of the best.

As you can see, here is one user that plans on contacting major news publications to demand they take a look. This message board user wants an audit from the IRS and ethics charges.

BillyBob wants that “SOB” impeached. He gives a call to action to all Swamp People to contact their legislators and is fed up to the rim of his air boat with good men that stand by and let evil men succeed.

Freebird thinks it is cute to spell Saban “Sabin”. Never got that one. He calls for the NCAA to end the corruption of the Red Elephant Club. When fellow Auburn fans didn’t react the way he thought they should, Freebird vented his frustration with a Johnny Cash picture.

Here we have another call to action for the U.S. government and a request for comment from a coach that has sleepovers at the homes of high school kids.

I snickered at this one.

Agreed. The state of Louisiana is owned by Alabama.

Everything happened in Louisiana. Why talk about Alabama? It’s because Hill People have to have potatoes as aids when discussing anything above a third-grade level.

This has been the go-to conspiracy for Swamp People for a few years. Optometrists are evil.

Look at the above screenshot. Remember that for just one second.

What was that about excuses now?

must read: Bama Bucket List—25 Things All Crimson Tide Fans Must Do

And those are just a few. If you see one that makes you laugh, post it in the comments or send us a tweet at @Bama_Hammer. We will be glad to share it. Roll Tide. It’s good to be the king.

Home/Alabama Football