Will Muschamp – The guy who just got dumped of the SEC
Turn-Ons: anger, resentment, going back to where you started
Turn-Offs: coach in waiting positions, the entire state of Florida
Body Type: anger ball
Eyes: rage
About Will:
BOOM I’M WILL MUSCHAMP BABY, I’M HERE TO COACH DEFENSE AND BURY THE DEEP FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND REJECTION THAT MY EX FLORIDA LEFT ME WITH, BOOM! I DON’T NEED HER, I’M DOING JUST FINE, I’M GOING TO BE HAPPY.
What Are You Looking For In A Partner?
BOOM I’M ON THE REBOUND. I’m pretty much ready to settle for anything with a pulse if it means I can pretend that I’m not going to end up alone.
What Do People Notice First About You?
BOOM, PROBABLY THAT I’M DEAD INSIDE.
Favorite Band: Dave Matthews Band
Favorite Movie: Well it used to be “You’ve Got Mail” before Florida made it so that I can’t see love without becoming enraged.
Religion: BOOM, JESUS HAS ABANDONED ME!
Sexual Preference: A LOT OF PEOPLE CRY AFTERWARDS.
A Random Fact About You:
BOOM, ALL I WANT IS TO SUCCEED AND BE THE MAN MY DAD WANTED ME TO BE AND OH GOD I’M DISAPPOINTING HIM AGAIN; THIS IS THE 1976 LITTLE LEAGUE TOURNAMENT ALL OVER AGAIN.
If You Could Be Any Animal What Would It Be? BOOM, A LEMMING SO I COULD END IT ALL.
If You Didn’t Do What You Do Now, What Would You Do? I think I’d be a great accountant, I love numbers.
3 Things You Can’t Live Without: FLORIDA, PLEASE COME BACK FLORIDA, I CAN CHANGE, I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU FLORIDA
Will you be catching Will Muschamp on the rebound? Or will you keep looking?