The SEC Tinder Game

Will Muschamp – The guy who just got dumped of the SEC

Turn-Ons: anger, resentment, going back to where you started

Turn-Offs: coach in waiting positions, the entire state of Florida

Body Type: anger ball

Eyes: rage

About Will:

BOOM I’M WILL MUSCHAMP BABY, I’M HERE TO COACH DEFENSE AND BURY THE DEEP FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND REJECTION THAT MY EX FLORIDA LEFT ME WITH, BOOM! I DON’T NEED HER, I’M DOING JUST FINE, I’M GOING TO BE HAPPY.

What Are You Looking For In A Partner?

BOOM I’M ON THE REBOUND. I’m pretty much ready to settle for anything with a pulse if it means I can pretend that I’m not going to end up alone.

What Do People Notice First About You?

BOOM, PROBABLY THAT I’M DEAD INSIDE.

Favorite Band: Dave Matthews Band

Favorite Movie: Well it used to be “You’ve Got Mail” before Florida made it so that I can’t see love without becoming enraged.

Religion: BOOM, JESUS HAS ABANDONED ME!

Sexual Preference: A LOT OF PEOPLE CRY AFTERWARDS.

A Random Fact About You:

BOOM, ALL I WANT IS TO SUCCEED AND BE THE MAN MY DAD WANTED ME TO BE AND OH GOD I’M DISAPPOINTING HIM AGAIN; THIS IS THE 1976 LITTLE LEAGUE TOURNAMENT ALL OVER AGAIN.

If You Could Be Any Animal What Would It Be? BOOM, A LEMMING SO I COULD END IT ALL.

If You Didn’t Do What You Do Now, What Would You Do? I think I’d be a great accountant, I love numbers.

3 Things You Can’t Live Without: FLORIDA, PLEASE COME BACK FLORIDA, I CAN CHANGE, I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU FLORIDA

Will you be catching Will Muschamp on the rebound? Or will you keep looking?