The Greatest Post in Auburn Football Message Board History

Chances are that if you’re not a fan of Auburn football message boards or any message boards, you probably have not seen this post.

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Hello, Alabama fans. I don’t have to tell you what day it is. It’s Monday and those are awful. The only bright spot for this one is that there will be a form of Alabama football this Saturday until reality pulls it from our clutching hands and turns us to shove our crimson clad bodies right into the real off-season.

I thought with all of this coming up, Alabama fans could use a laugh and a smile on this Monday. Let’s set the date that the greatest Auburn football message board post was made—August 25, 2012. Current Alabama linebacker Reuben Foster had already flipped from Alabama to Auburn. We all know who that one turned out. After one WarEagleJM made his proclamation below referring to Auburn’s 28-27 over the Tide in Tuscaloosa, Alabama went 4-1 against Auburn.

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I will let JM tell the rest of the story in its entirety for our fine readers. Some of you may have missed this because not all fans like to participate in message boards.

With intent to give the writer all creative control over his piece, I will change a few possible abbreviations to make things cleared for our reader, just in case you are not fluent in what is known Lee Countynese. Please grab a cup of your favorite beverage, free your mind, and let the words take you where they will. Mine went directly to laughter. We like to call this piece “History Will Show” by the highly regarded author WarEagleJM.

"History will show that the flip of Rueben Foster to Auburn will go down as the single-most important event in changing the perception of the little/big brother roles in college football in the state of Alabama. Mainly because of what this manchild beast will do inside Jordan-Hare Stadium and the publicity that has surrounded the flip (press conference, tattoo, etc.). Not to mention the laundry list of fellow defensive recruits that are salivating at a chance to play with this wrecking ball on the field. This guy’s magnetism and mentality are no different that Cam’s. Both are once in a generation players and we’ll have had them in Orange in Blue in a span of four years.I’ve never seen a time in which truly informed Alabama fans, not the toothleess Wal-Mart Muldykes, have been in such anxiety and agony over the direction of the Auburn Football program. I love every second of it, and they see what’s happening and can’t do anything about it. When you treat your players as family members and they play for you out of respect and admiration, things like 28-27 happen. When you have players that fear their coach, see rampant gray-shirting, bogus medical departures and wonder if they will have their scholarship the following year, things like a 24-0 complete meltdown implosion against your hated rival happen.Nov 28, 2015; Auburn, AL, USA; Auburn Tigers defensive lineman Justin Thomas-Thornton (92) reacts on the bench during the fourth quarter against the Alabama Crimson Tide at Jordan Hare Stadium. Alabama won 29-13. Mandatory Credit: Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY SportsIt all starts at the top and CGC (Coach Gene Chizik) will go down as a legendary coach in college football history, not just Auburn history, Book It. I tell all of the Bammers without hesitation that CGC will win more national championships at Auburn than Satan will at UTea (I have never seen this one before so God speed, Bama fan). If you hook me up to a polygraph while saying it, I would pass because that’s how much I believe it to be true. The perception of Auburn Football in-state and on a national level is changing. September 1st is about to open the country’s eyes as to what tenacious Auburn football is all about, and I can’t wait to watch the look on little dabo’s face. These are great times to be an Auburn Tiger. A dynasty is in the making, and if you don’t see it, you don’t have a clue. War Damn Chizik and War Damn Eagle."

I will give you a minute to wipe the tears from your eyes and catch your breath. Be sure to send this one to all of your friends. The body just jumps off the page at you, doesn’t it? If this literary piece doesn’t win a Pulitzer Prize, all other awards given in the literary field are for naught.

Have a great week, Bama friends. And as always, Roll Tide to each and every one of you.

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