SEC Media Days 2016 Drinking Game
By Chris Hale
SEC Media Days kicks off on July 11 from Hoover, Al. and we thought we would make it a little more enjoyable for everyone.
ICYMI: Auburn Football’s Sad Recruiting Material
Granted when SEC Media Days finally get kicked off, most everyone will have to work and will miss the fun live as it happens. The good thing is that there’s always replays later that evening just in case you missed it. This goes for the same people who are standing in line at the hotel waiting to get an autograph.
Speaking of fans waiting for an autograph, if you see the Alabama fan wearing the replica championship ring as a hat, you know what to do. Drink.
In the event you decide to participate in this game, it may be wise to let a family member or friend know what you will be doing and where so that if they don’t hear from you, they will know where to send the ambulance.
We’ve separated the list into the days the coaches will be there just in case you want to sit out one round.
MONDAY, July 11
- Our in-state rival had a tough season last year. If anything comes up about the Auburn Tigers going 2-6 in the conference, drink because we’re laughing. Add one more if the Birmingham Bowl comes up.
- Malzahn is a pro at coach speech. Just last season, he bragged on their defense and it resembled a turnstile all year long. A good example is “I feel very good about where our program’s going,” Malzahn said. “Like I’ve said, I really like our players and I really like our coaches.” You could also throw in “I like we are at” and “We are competing”. Bonus drinks for the phrases “Auburn man” or “Auburn family”.
- Just like with Georgia’s Kirby Smart, Florida’s Jim McElwain will more than likely get a question about his relationship with Saban. There’s also the interesting dynamic of Smart and McElwain being on the staff at Alabama at the same time. Open up and let the drink fly if these two things are mentioned.
- Vanderbilt is a tough one. They’re just the conference’s smart kids. If Derek Mason gets a question about football, drink (I didn’t promise all of these would be great).
TUESDAY, July 12
- This is Kirby Smart’s first year at Georgia and as we all know, he came from Alabama’s coaching staff. If someone asks about Smart’s relationship with Saban, drink.
- The Bulldogs are in a serious national championship drought and that’s unacceptable being in the talent-rich state. This question could come in the form of recruiting or asking if Smart can get Georgia over the hump and bring some hardware back to Athens. Drink.
- I know for a fact this question will come so when someone asks Dan Mullen about the small suspension of Jeffery Simmons after video surfaced of Simmons hitting a female, drink.
- A few reporters and even Hugh Freeze have mentioned the Egg Bowl rivalry going too far in the recent months, so this will come up. Don’t drink because it came up, but drink because no one else cares.
- Butch Jones will probably take the podium and remind you that Tennessee was only a few plays or few points away from winning more games last season. You know the drill. If there is an SEC Championship or College Football Playoff question, drink. You are required to funnel (not butt-funnel) your beverage of choice if someone walks up to him and rewards the Vols the off-season championship. Please, let that happen.
- Any hot seat or playing musical chairs with the quarterback depth chart questions directed at Kevin Sumlin, drink. If anything comes up about former Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, drin….go to rehab.
WEDNESDAY, July 13
- The big stories for Tide fans this offseason included transfers and the arrests of Cam Robinson and Laurence “Hootie” Jones. Of course, the prosecutor decided not to try those cases. If someone questions Saban’s discipline on the matter or asks about transfers, drink and turn down your volume because it may get loud.
- Drink if Saban uses the platform of the whole country watching for him to soapbox on something going on in college football that he doesn’t think is beneficial to the sport. A satellite camp question could get this started. Also, add questions about which quarterback could start.
- Michigan’s Coach Twitter just canceled a series with the Arkansas Razorbacks. Bielema was asked about it and joked they may just have to do a satellite camp with the money from the canceled contract. I pray someone asks about this because Bielema can burn folks with the best of them. Drink and toast Bret, if this happens.
- Kentucky coach Mark Stoops will be in attendance and I just assume he will get basketball questions. Just drink for fun here, I suppose.
- The only thing remotely interesting that I can think of for Missouri’s Barry Odom is the hunger strike from last season. So, maybe drink there or just drink to hope we have some Missouri fodder next season.
More from Bama Hammer
- Alabama Football: Moving past Crimson Tide quarterback rumors
- Alabama Football: How improved is the Ole Miss defense?
- Alabama Football: Power Ranking the SEC after week three
- Alabama’s latest win total projection hints that team is in trouble this season
- Alabama Football: What happened with again QB1 Jalen Milroe
THURSDAY, July 14
- Les Miles has the habit of saying things that take us a bit of time to decipher. If this happens, drink but do so moderately because this could go on for 15 minutes.
- Drink if someone mentions the Alabama winning streak over the Tigers or if you hear Fournette for Heisman talk. Les Miles is going to cause a lot of day drunkenness.
- If Hugh Freeze is asked about the NCAA Investigation, drink. Also if you are present at Media Days, you can stop at the kiosk in the lobby and pick up your voucher for your water and electric bill to be taken care of for that month.
- Freeze likes to drop the Bible verses at the most unexpected time so if he does that on Thursday, don’t drink but instead, drink some Gatorade or water to get some fluids back in your system after all the prior drinking.
must read: Bama Bucket List—25 Things All Crimson Tide Fans Must Do
Drink and watch responsibly. Know your limits, too. Celebrate because this is the official kickoff for the college football season. We’re getting closer every day.