College Football: The Saga of a 5-Star Defender, Lost And Lonely in the Big 12

College Football has loads of high drama and some low comedy as well. Just take this story of 5-Star defender lost and lonely in the Big 12.

College football can be great theater even when the football is pathetic. A few weeks ago a former 5-star recruit, defensive tackle announced he was transferring from Texas Tech. I am not going to post the young man’s name. I’m sure he is a fine young man and doesn’t deserve anyone poking fun at him.

He has suffered enough. He played two seasons on defense at Texas Tech. He must be a special player because he had 3.5 tackles for a loss and one sack for the Red Raiders last season. At Texas Tech, those are some pretty gaudy numbers.

In case you have not kept up with the college football factory in Lubbock, let’s review.  One hundred and twenty-eight teams played college football in the FBS this season.  Out of those 128 teams, Texas Tech was 128th in Total Defense; dead last. They surrendered more than 554 yards per game.

More from Bama Hammer

• Alabama Football: Moving past Crimson Tide quarterback rumors
• Alabama Football: How improved is the Ole Miss defense?
• Alabama Football: Power Ranking the SEC after week three
• Alabama’s latest win total projection hints that team is in trouble this season
• Alabama Football: What happened with again QB1 Jalen Milroe

The Big 12 disdains defense and glorifies offense.  No one does that better than Kliff, “Double K” Kingsbury. Most FBS football programs have four or five of their nine assistant coaches assigned to the defense.  I think Texas Tech has two.

One defensive assistant is assigned to coaching slower players to chase down runners.  The other one is assigned to coaching faster players to chase down pass receivers.

Those two coaches don’t use defensive signals. When the ball is snapped, the two defensive assistants scream “sic-em” as loudly as they can. They work games from the sideline to make sure their players can hear them.

Their only other game duties are rotating in replacements for their gassed defenders.  Failed attempts to chase down opponents wears out Red Raiders pretty darn quick.

There is another guy on the sidelines, helping with player rotation. He is not a coach but he is one big, rough looking dude. Whatever the weather, he wears a leather vest and no shirt, exposing massive biceps and copious tattoos.  By the 4th quarter, this guy is sorely needed. Red Raider defensive subs sometimes refuse to enter the game. The menacing dude threatens to kick their ass if they don’t get on the field.

I believe “Double K” has two young assistants who do no coaching whatsoever.  The two are always stationed behind Kliff on the sideline, one off of each shoulder. From a distance, the three of them look like a six-armed, six-legged gigantic land octopus straining to move up and down the Red Raider sideline.

Whenever there is a break in the action one of the assistants feverishly cleans and buffs Kliff’s sunglasses. The other one is always poised for a hair emergency. He is armed with a can of extra firm hair mousse gel. It can get really windy in Lubbock and Kliff is very particular about his hair.

Next: Alabama's All-Time Best Players by Position

About the 5-star defender who has decided to leave, I’m guessing he ends up at Auburn. Sadly, he appears vulnerable to fast-talking college football coaches who will promise a player anything. Anyone wanting to defend “Double K” make a comment on our Facebook page.